Help (TW: abuse) Advice on leaving toxic household? / Rant

[jeevasO-o]

I just can't leave. My parents will never let me go. They still treat me like a child. Despite me being over 20 years old, I still have no prober phone, just an old one with heavy restrictions (limited screentime, no google / browsers, no way to install apps without permission, YouTube blocked and any social media ofc)

I thankfully have an iPad I got years ago in my school which I use 24/7 and have freedom on. (My parents had another ipad to control my ipad but I managed to get out of that myself. Except that my age on my ipad is still "11 years old" and I am in a family group thing. But that's not really changing much I think because I can change all settings after figuring out how to get access to their ipad and get the code)

My parents still wish my Ipad would get broken so "I would be free". I still often get threatened that they'll break it, and never let me have internet again. Thank God my mother is 100 times better than my dad. Still she's so confusing?? She lets me have freedom idk and is nice and then suddenly she's on my dad's side and says it's not good blah blah but doesn't beat me or insults me like him.

My dad says I can only leave when I get married but keeps saying nobody would marry me anyway. Fuck yeah I don't wanna get married?! Even there he doesn't makes sense. I'm not allowed to go outside without him knowing everything (where I go, how long, I have to keep my phone loud and on, no turning off and hiding location) and I am not allowed to talk to ANY guys except I HAVE to. I can't date, I can't talk with guys, I can't be homosexual, I can't even be close to a guy, I can't even fucking shake hands or touch them in the slightest way??? If he knew I am homosexual he would probably beat the shit out of me and yell at me a lot. He said he'd even kill me and I believe him. Also of course he has to choose who I'll marry and someone from people he knows (family idk) when I don't know even fucking know that guy except for a few days before marriage. Also of course he has to check up his whole life.. if he does drugs / smokes, if he is religious, how much he knows about our religion, if he does sins, if he has a "good" personality, if he is dominant... What the Fuck?

My dad is probably actually crazy. Seriously. All that OBSESSION with his status and me is weird. He said he'd kill for his status and how our family looks. There's so much else I didn't mention here too. He thinks everything is "not pure" like all my hobbies and everything I do. Literally anything. Drawing? Anime? A different style? Walking different? Mental issues? Disabilities? Eating? Yes. I have no privacy at all. Even going to the bathroom! I can't stay in too long or he waits at the door so I don't do anything inappropriate or cut myself again. I can't even stay up nights easily because he always will hear me and he wakes up so easily even if it's just me standing up from my bed that makes noises. Sometimes he sleeps in the same room as me. He even often checks up my body and looks in my bags, around my room, in my bed, closets to make sure I'm not hiding anything. He once found I had vodka in my closet and I managed to convince him I didn't buy that or wasn't gonna drink it. He found belongings he didn't like. I don't know. Enegry drinks, knives / blades, papers, drawings, notes, figures / plushies.
He always thinks I'll end up doing something unpure. sex work or be a slut I don't know?? He told me that even as a kid. Even when I was 14-15. I never even had him see anything like me being with guys, or sharing pictures of me. I have no idea why he thinks that. He's paranoid as fuck and obessed with religion. He would kill me for God. He believes his dreams are a sign of something. He could be dreaming of me doing something bad and being mad at me and watching out even more for me. Ffs I'm over 20 already.

I know I could leave legally and get away. I just can't though. I couldn't live on my own, I couldn't leave everything behind, I have too many belongings I'd have to take, I am scared he'd find me, I don't wanna leave my mom, I don't wanna leave my cat, I don't want a suddenly huge change (I have autism)

I still wanna do something about it. Any advice or something?

 

[Alpacachino]

I chuckled at you getting out of the iPad control. That was smart

Your dad sounds horrific.Seems like you have been controlled through your entire childhood. My parents weren't as bad as yours, but they were kind of helicopter parents. Especially my mother.

To be honest, once I moved away and lived on my own,I had so much freedom. It was phenomenal.

I have one question,you don't need to answer if you don't want to. Do you live in an Islamic country?

 

[THEREALSLIMSHADY]

My stomach turned reading that horor story. I mean, your father is delusional and insane from what i can see. U need financial independence, first and foremost. And then run away from that lunatics.

What are ur chances of finding job, and where do u live if u care to share that info

 

[jeevasO-o]

My stomach turned reading that horor story. I mean, your father is delusional and insane from what i can see. U need financial independence, first and foremost. And then run away from that lunatics.

What are ur chances of finding job, and where do u live if u care to share that info

I'm unsure. I kinda have work but I don't know how it's called in English. I don't get payed for it yet. I'm also unsure since my mental issues etc if I could hold a job.

I live in Germany

I chuckled at you getting out of the iPad control. That was smart

Your dad sounds horrific.Seems like you have been controlled through your entire childhood. My parents weren't as bad as yours, but they were kind of helicopter parents. Especially my mother.

To be honest, once I moved away and lived on my own,I had so much freedom. It was phenomenal.

I have one question,you don't need to answer if you don't want to. Do you live in an Islamic country?

Yeah I think moving out can be really great but still scary. I don't live in an Islamic country but my parents are Islamic.

 

[sanctionedusage]

i'd honestly rather be in prison, if you get what im saying

 

[jeevasO-o]

i'd honestly rather be in prison, if you get what im saying

True

 

[spacealiens]

I just can't leave. My parents will never let me go. They still treat me like a child. Despite me being over 20 years old, I still have no prober phone, just an old one with heavy restrictions (limited screentime, no google / browsers, no way to install apps without permission, YouTube blocked and any social media ofc)

I thankfully have an iPad I got years ago in my school which I use 24/7 and have freedom on. (My parents had another ipad to control my ipad but I managed to get out of that myself. Except that my age on my ipad is still "11 years old" and I am in a family group thing. But that's not really changing much I think because I can change all settings after figuring out how to get access to their ipad and get the code)

My parents still wish my Ipad would get broken so "I would be free". I still often get threatened that they'll break it, and never let me have internet again. Thank God my mother is 100 times better than my dad. Still she's so confusing?? She lets me have freedom idk and is nice and then suddenly she's on my dad's side and says it's not good blah blah but doesn't beat me or insults me like him.

My dad says I can only leave when I get married but keeps saying nobody would marry me anyway. Fuck yeah I don't wanna get married?! Even there he doesn't makes sense. I'm not allowed to go outside without him knowing everything (where I go, how long, I have to keep my phone loud and on, no turning off and hiding location) and I am not allowed to talk to ANY guys except I HAVE to. I can't date, I can't talk with guys, I can't be homosexual, I can't even be close to a guy, I can't even fucking shake hands or touch them in the slightest way??? If he knew I am homosexual he would probably beat the shit out of me and yell at me a lot. He said he'd even kill me and I believe him. Also of course he has to choose who I'll marry and someone from people he knows (family idk) when I don't know even fucking know that guy except for a few days before marriage. Also of course he has to check up his whole life.. if he does drugs / smokes, if he is religious, how much he knows about our religion, if he does sins, if he has a "good" personality, if he is dominant... What the Fuck?

My dad is probably actually crazy. Seriously. All that OBSESSION with his status and me is weird. He said he'd kill for his status and how our family looks. There's so much else I didn't mention here too. He thinks everything is "not pure" like all my hobbies and everything I do. Literally anything. Drawing? Anime? A different style? Walking different? Mental issues? Disabilities? Eating? Yes. I have no privacy at all. Even going to the bathroom! I can't stay in too long or he waits at the door so I don't do anything inappropriate or cut myself again. I can't even stay up nights easily because he always will hear me and he wakes up so easily even if it's just me standing up from my bed that makes noises. Sometimes he sleeps in the same room as me. He even often checks up my body and looks in my bags, around my room, in my bed, closets to make sure I'm not hiding anything. He once found I had vodka in my closet and I managed to convince him I didn't buy that or wasn't gonna drink it. He found belongings he didn't like. I don't know. Enegry drinks, knives / blades, papers, drawings, notes, figures / plushies.
He always thinks I'll end up doing something unpure. sex work or be a slut I don't know?? He told me that even as a kid. Even when I was 14-15. I never even had him see anything like me being with guys, or sharing pictures of me. I have no idea why he thinks that. He's paranoid as fuck and obessed with religion. He would kill me for God. He believes his dreams are a sign of something. He could be dreaming of me doing something bad and being mad at me and watching out even more for me. Ffs I'm over 20 already.

I know I could leave legally and get away. I just can't though. I couldn't live on my own, I couldn't leave everything behind, I have too many belongings I'd have to take, I am scared he'd find me, I don't wanna leave my mom, I don't wanna leave my cat, I don't want a suddenly huge change (I have autism)

I still wanna do something about it. Any advice or something?

I wish you the best you definitely need to escape

I just can't leave. My parents will never let me go. They still treat me like a child. Despite me being over 20 years old, I still have no prober phone, just an old one with heavy restrictions (limited screentime, no google / browsers, no way to install apps without permission, YouTube blocked and any social media ofc)

I thankfully have an iPad I got years ago in my school which I use 24/7 and have freedom on. (My parents had another ipad to control my ipad but I managed to get out of that myself. Except that my age on my ipad is still "11 years old" and I am in a family group thing. But that's not really changing much I think because I can change all settings after figuring out how to get access to their ipad and get the code)

My parents still wish my Ipad would get broken so "I would be free". I still often get threatened that they'll break it, and never let me have internet again. Thank God my mother is 100 times better than my dad. Still she's so confusing?? She lets me have freedom idk and is nice and then suddenly she's on my dad's side and says it's not good blah blah but doesn't beat me or insults me like him.

My dad says I can only leave when I get married but keeps saying nobody would marry me anyway. Fuck yeah I don't wanna get married?! Even there he doesn't makes sense. I'm not allowed to go outside without him knowing everything (where I go, how long, I have to keep my phone loud and on, no turning off and hiding location) and I am not allowed to talk to ANY guys except I HAVE to. I can't date, I can't talk with guys, I can't be homosexual, I can't even be close to a guy, I can't even fucking shake hands or touch them in the slightest way??? If he knew I am homosexual he would probably beat the shit out of me and yell at me a lot. He said he'd even kill me and I believe him. Also of course he has to choose who I'll marry and someone from people he knows (family idk) when I don't know even fucking know that guy except for a few days before marriage. Also of course he has to check up his whole life.. if he does drugs / smokes, if he is religious, how much he knows about our religion, if he does sins, if he has a "good" personality, if he is dominant... What the Fuck?

My dad is probably actually crazy. Seriously. All that OBSESSION with his status and me is weird. He said he'd kill for his status and how our family looks. There's so much else I didn't mention here too. He thinks everything is "not pure" like all my hobbies and everything I do. Literally anything. Drawing? Anime? A different style? Walking different? Mental issues? Disabilities? Eating? Yes. I have no privacy at all. Even going to the bathroom! I can't stay in too long or he waits at the door so I don't do anything inappropriate or cut myself again. I can't even stay up nights easily because he always will hear me and he wakes up so easily even if it's just me standing up from my bed that makes noises. Sometimes he sleeps in the same room as me. He even often checks up my body and looks in my bags, around my room, in my bed, closets to make sure I'm not hiding anything. He once found I had vodka in my closet and I managed to convince him I didn't buy that or wasn't gonna drink it. He found belongings he didn't like. I don't know. Enegry drinks, knives / blades, papers, drawings, notes, figures / plushies.
He always thinks I'll end up doing something unpure. sex work or be a slut I don't know?? He told me that even as a kid. Even when I was 14-15. I never even had him see anything like me being with guys, or sharing pictures of me. I have no idea why he thinks that. He's paranoid as fuck and obessed with religion. He would kill me for God. He believes his dreams are a sign of something. He could be dreaming of me doing something bad and being mad at me and watching out even more for me. Ffs I'm over 20 already.

I know I could leave legally and get away. I just can't though. I couldn't live on my own, I couldn't leave everything behind, I have too many belongings I'd have to take, I am scared he'd find me, I don't wanna leave my mom, I don't wanna leave my cat, I don't want a suddenly huge change (I have autism)

I still wanna do something about it. Any advice or something?

I don't have any simple solutions of the top of my head sounds very difficult regardless I wish you the best and hope you can find time away from your household and an escape from there control to relax

 

[jeevasO-o]

I wish you the best you definitely need to escape

I don't have any simple solutions of the top of my head sounds very difficult regardless I wish you the best and hope you can find time away from your household and an escape from there control to relax

Thank you!!

 

[spacealiens]

Thank you!!

I would struggle under them conditions too I hope you find more freedom it sounds very stressful and overwhelming

 

[Hvergelmir]

I know I could leave legally and get away. I just can't though. I couldn't live on my own, I couldn't leave everything behind, I have too many belongings I'd have to take, I am scared he'd find me, I don't wanna leave my mom, I don't wanna leave my cat, I don't want a suddenly huge change...

The cold harsh truth is that if you choose to not fight, and not flee, only submission remains. No one else can come in and take the fight or forcefully relocate you.
I think you ought to talk to authorities. I don't know Germany very well, but the police ought to be able to point you in the right direction.

Those kind of situations are well known, and I'm pretty sure that there are structures in place to help people like you.

 

[spacealiens]

Thank you!!

I have dogs too I left home and miss my snuggle munchkins sometimes I love taking them on walks and feeding them treats like steak haha love my wee snuggle munchkin and giving them big cuddles animals love me often get approached by random dogs my aunts dog bes so excited to see me too as I don't see him often I'm his fav

 

[Alpacachino]

Yeah I think moving out can be really great but still scary. I don't live in an Islamic country but my parents are Islamic.

That was pretty obvious once you spoke about your father making threats based off religious beliefs ....Unfortunately, they condone honor killings and such if the children don't fall in line.

 

[spacealiens]

The cold harsh truth is that if you choose to not fight, and not flee, only submission remains. No one else can come in and take the fight or forcefully relocate you.
I think you ought to talk to authorities. I don't know Germany very well, but the police ought to be able to point you in the right direction.

Those kind of situations are well known, and I'm pretty sure that there are structures in place to help people like you.

Leaving home taking your cat and possibly finding a homeless shelter or something similar and a job could be possible but I don't know how housing works in Germany either. I believe there has to be better options though than what you are currently going through do some research and make a decision

 

[ris_ris_ris_ris_]

I just can't leave. My parents will never let me go. They still treat me like a child. Despite me being over 20 years old, I still have no prober phone, just an old one with heavy restrictions (limited screentime, no google / browsers, no way to install apps without permission, YouTube blocked and any social media ofc)

I thankfully have an iPad I got years ago in my school which I use 24/7 and have freedom on. (My parents had another ipad to control my ipad but I managed to get out of that myself. Except that my age on my ipad is still "11 years old" and I am in a family group thing. But that's not really changing much I think because I can change all settings after figuring out how to get access to their ipad and get the code)

My parents still wish my Ipad would get broken so "I would be free". I still often get threatened that they'll break it, and never let me have internet again. Thank God my mother is 100 times better than my dad. Still she's so confusing?? She lets me have freedom idk and is nice and then suddenly she's on my dad's side and says it's not good blah blah but doesn't beat me or insults me like him.

My dad says I can only leave when I get married but keeps saying nobody would marry me anyway. Fuck yeah I don't wanna get married?! Even there he doesn't makes sense. I'm not allowed to go outside without him knowing everything (where I go, how long, I have to keep my phone loud and on, no turning off and hiding location) and I am not allowed to talk to ANY guys except I HAVE to. I can't date, I can't talk with guys, I can't be homosexual, I can't even be close to a guy, I can't even fucking shake hands or touch them in the slightest way??? If he knew I am homosexual he would probably beat the shit out of me and yell at me a lot. He said he'd even kill me and I believe him. Also of course he has to choose who I'll marry and someone from people he knows (family idk) when I don't know even fucking know that guy except for a few days before marriage. Also of course he has to check up his whole life.. if he does drugs / smokes, if he is religious, how much he knows about our religion, if he does sins, if he has a "good" personality, if he is dominant... What the Fuck?

My dad is probably actually crazy. Seriously. All that OBSESSION with his status and me is weird. He said he'd kill for his status and how our family looks. There's so much else I didn't mention here too. He thinks everything is "not pure" like all my hobbies and everything I do. Literally anything. Drawing? Anime? A different style? Walking different? Mental issues? Disabilities? Eating? Yes. I have no privacy at all. Even going to the bathroom! I can't stay in too long or he waits at the door so I don't do anything inappropriate or cut myself again. I can't even stay up nights easily because he always will hear me and he wakes up so easily even if it's just me standing up from my bed that makes noises. Sometimes he sleeps in the same room as me. He even often checks up my body and looks in my bags, around my room, in my bed, closets to make sure I'm not hiding anything. He once found I had vodka in my closet and I managed to convince him I didn't buy that or wasn't gonna drink it. He found belongings he didn't like. I don't know. Enegry drinks, knives / blades, papers, drawings, notes, figures / plushies.
He always thinks I'll end up doing something unpure. sex work or be a slut I don't know?? He told me that even as a kid. Even when I was 14-15. I never even had him see anything like me being with guys, or sharing pictures of me. I have no idea why he thinks that. He's paranoid as fuck and obessed with religion. He would kill me for God. He believes his dreams are a sign of something. He could be dreaming of me doing something bad and being mad at me and watching out even more for me. Ffs I'm over 20 already.

I know I could leave legally and get away. I just can't though. I couldn't live on my own, I couldn't leave everything behind, I have too many belongings I'd have to take, I am scared he'd find me, I don't wanna leave my mom, I don't wanna leave my cat, I don't want a suddenly huge change (I have autism)

I still wanna do something about it. Any advice or something?

Your dad sounds like he's genuinely psychotic. He definitely has something going on. That aside, I can't really offer much advice, but if you could get a job or something like that, it would definitely help... If they let you. Getting a job is hard as a neurodivergent person, but you might find something. You draw, right? You could sell commissions if you'd like, for example. I can offer some advice on that if you'd like.

Also, meet new people. There's always the possibility that having connections will help you; but unfortunately that one is risky. If you're willing to go that way, just be very very careful, especially with online people.

I hope you can get out of that hellhole soon.

P.s. nice Dazai pfp.

 

[jeevasO-o]

Your dad sounds like he's genuinely psychotic. He definitely has something going on. That aside, I can't really offer much advice, but if you could get a job or something like that, it would definitely help... If they let you. Getting a job is hard as a neurodivergent person, but you might find something. You draw, right? You could sell commissions if you'd like, for example. I can offer some advice on that if you'd like.

Also, meet new people. There's always the possibility that having connections will help you; but unfortunately that one is risky. If you're willing to go that way, just be very very careful, especially with online people.

I hope you can get out of that hellhole soon.

P.s. nice Dazai pfp.

Thank you!!
I'd love advice on that!! I wanted to do commissions but I don't know how. Whenever I tried I didn't get anyone asking for any or I didn't get attention. Also I don't know how to get paid / not scammed. I don't use PayPal.

(TYYY!! I love that picture of Dazai smm and Dazai)

 

[ris_ris_ris_ris_]

Thank you!!
I'd love advice on that!! I wanted to do commissions but I don't know how. Whenever I tried I didn't get anyone asking for any or I didn't get attention. Also I don't know how to get paid / not scammed. I don't use PayPal.

(TYYY!! I love that picture of Dazai smm and Dazai)

Yes, you must have an audience first. It can be hard to build it, especially with the way us artists are getting treated by any social media algorithms lately. Unfortunately I think I don't have access to private messages yet, but when I get the permission for it, would you like me to pm you? I can get more into detail that way. It's hard to do so publicly without giving away my identity.

 

[jeevasO-o]

Yes, you must have an audience first. It can be hard to build it, especially with the way us artists are getting treated by any social media algorithms lately. Unfortunately I think I don't have access to private messages yet, but when I get the permission for it, would you like me to pm you? I can get more into detail that way. It's hard to do so publicly without giving away my identity.

Yes sure! Yeah since ur new here it'll take a bit for u to get access to PM and search bar. You have to post a certain amount of times and comment I think. It's unknown how many times. I got it fairly quick though. I thought I'd take longer.
Also in settings you should be able to change who can view your profile or PM you. The profiling viewing is off by default.

 

[hampster123]

i'm in a similar situation but my mum is the overbearing and controlling one. all i can say is try and stack bread to plan your escape and cut contact

 

[ris_ris_ris_ris_]

Yes sure! Yeah since ur new here it'll take a bit for u to get access to PM and search bar. You have to post a certain amount of times and comment I think. It's unknown how many times. I got it fairly quick though. I thought I'd take longer.
Also in settings you should be able to change who can view your profile or PM you. The profiling viewing is off by default.

Aahh, I see. I really gotta lock in then, lol. Alright then :) I'll try to get access to pms and then message you! Take care.

 

[jeevasO-o]

Aahh, I see. I really gotta lock in then, lol. Alright then :) I'll try to get access to pms and then message you! Take care.

Thank you!!^_^

 

[vergnano]

i hope u can run from that hellhole

 

[jeevasO-o]

i hope u can run from that hellhole

Tyyy

 

[THEREALSLIMSHADY]

Tbh i exp

I'm unsure. I kinda have work but I don't know how it's called in English. I don't get payed for it yet. I'm also unsure since my mental issues etc if I could hold a job.

I live in Germany

Yeah I think moving out can be really great but still scary. I don't live in an Islamic country but my parents are Islamic.

Tbh i expected some arab country or India but Germany, god

 

[fallen.dove]

I just can't leave. My parents will never let me go. They still treat me like a child. Despite me being over 20 years old, I still have no prober phone, just an old one with heavy restrictions (limited screentime, no google / browsers, no way to install apps without permission, YouTube blocked and any social media ofc)

I thankfully have an iPad I got years ago in my school which I use 24/7 and have freedom on. (My parents had another ipad to control my ipad but I managed to get out of that myself. Except that my age on my ipad is still "11 years old" and I am in a family group thing. But that's not really changing much I think because I can change all settings after figuring out how to get access to their ipad and get the code)

My parents still wish my Ipad would get broken so "I would be free". I still often get threatened that they'll break it, and never let me have internet again. Thank God my mother is 100 times better than my dad. Still she's so confusing?? She lets me have freedom idk and is nice and then suddenly she's on my dad's side and says it's not good blah blah but doesn't beat me or insults me like him.

My dad says I can only leave when I get married but keeps saying nobody would marry me anyway. Fuck yeah I don't wanna get married?! Even there he doesn't makes sense. I'm not allowed to go outside without him knowing everything (where I go, how long, I have to keep my phone loud and on, no turning off and hiding location) and I am not allowed to talk to ANY guys except I HAVE to. I can't date, I can't talk with guys, I can't be homosexual, I can't even be close to a guy, I can't even fucking shake hands or touch them in the slightest way??? If he knew I am homosexual he would probably beat the shit out of me and yell at me a lot. He said he'd even kill me and I believe him. Also of course he has to choose who I'll marry and someone from people he knows (family idk) when I don't know even fucking know that guy except for a few days before marriage. Also of course he has to check up his whole life.. if he does drugs / smokes, if he is religious, how much he knows about our religion, if he does sins, if he has a "good" personality, if he is dominant... What the Fuck?

My dad is probably actually crazy. Seriously. All that OBSESSION with his status and me is weird. He said he'd kill for his status and how our family looks. There's so much else I didn't mention here too. He thinks everything is "not pure" like all my hobbies and everything I do. Literally anything. Drawing? Anime? A different style? Walking different? Mental issues? Disabilities? Eating? Yes. I have no privacy at all. Even going to the bathroom! I can't stay in too long or he waits at the door so I don't do anything inappropriate or cut myself again. I can't even stay up nights easily because he always will hear me and he wakes up so easily even if it's just me standing up from my bed that makes noises. Sometimes he sleeps in the same room as me. He even often checks up my body and looks in my bags, around my room, in my bed, closets to make sure I'm not hiding anything. He once found I had vodka in my closet and I managed to convince him I didn't buy that or wasn't gonna drink it. He found belongings he didn't like. I don't know. Enegry drinks, knives / blades, papers, drawings, notes, figures / plushies.
He always thinks I'll end up doing something unpure. sex work or be a slut I don't know?? He told me that even as a kid. Even when I was 14-15. I never even had him see anything like me being with guys, or sharing pictures of me. I have no idea why he thinks that. He's paranoid as fuck and obessed with religion. He would kill me for God. He believes his dreams are a sign of something. He could be dreaming of me doing something bad and being mad at me and watching out even more for me. Ffs I'm over 20 already.

I know I could leave legally and get away. I just can't though. I couldn't live on my own, I couldn't leave everything behind, I have too many belongings I'd have to take, I am scared he'd find me, I don't wanna leave my mom, I don't wanna leave my cat, I don't want a suddenly huge change (I have autism)

I still wanna do something about it. Any advice or something?

im very sorry that happened to you. i hope it gets better and u can leave that toxic household soon<3

 

[jeevasO-o]

im very sorry that happened to you. i hope it gets better and u can leave that toxic household soon<3

Thank you!!<3

 

[Thia]

I think you should prioritize getting away with your cat, and try not to think about your belongings. Pretend to take your cat to the vet or somewhere like that if necessary. then go to the police, say it's an emergency. I genuinely think you will be in danger at some point in the future. Once you leave you should not return to your home anymore.

 

[jeevasO-o]

I think you should prioritize getting away with your cat, and try not to think about your belongings. Pretend to take your cat to the vet or somewhere like that if necessary. then go to the police, say it's an emergency. I genuinely think you will be in danger at some point in the future. Once you leave you should not return to your home anymore.

Yeah. It's not easy but I think I can do it eventually.
Also I managed to get recordings of my dad saying horrible things. It can be proof I guess

 

[THEREALSLIMSHADY]

I saw something in news, and thought of you. How are you?

 

[sohopelessandempty]

I

I just can't leave. My parents will never let me go. They still treat me like a child. Despite me being over 20 years old, I still have no prober phone, just an old one with heavy restrictions (limited screentime, no google / browsers, no way to install apps without permission, YouTube blocked and any social media ofc)

I thankfully have an iPad I got years ago in my school which I use 24/7 and have freedom on. (My parents had another ipad to control my ipad but I managed to get out of that myself. Except that my age on my ipad is still "11 years old" and I am in a family group thing. But that's not really changing much I think because I can change all settings after figuring out how to get access to their ipad and get the code)

My parents still wish my Ipad would get broken so "I would be free". I still often get threatened that they'll break it, and never let me have internet again. Thank God my mother is 100 times better than my dad. Still she's so confusing?? She lets me have freedom idk and is nice and then suddenly she's on my dad's side and says it's not good blah blah but doesn't beat me or insults me like him.

My dad says I can only leave when I get married but keeps saying nobody would marry me anyway. Fuck yeah I don't wanna get married?! Even there he doesn't makes sense. I'm not allowed to go outside without him knowing everything (where I go, how long, I have to keep my phone loud and on, no turning off and hiding location) and I am not allowed to talk to ANY guys except I HAVE to. I can't date, I can't talk with guys, I can't be homosexual, I can't even be close to a guy, I can't even fucking shake hands or touch them in the slightest way??? If he knew I am homosexual he would probably beat the shit out of me and yell at me a lot. He said he'd even kill me and I believe him. Also of course he has to choose who I'll marry and someone from people he knows (family idk) when I don't know even fucking know that guy except for a few days before marriage. Also of course he has to check up his whole life.. if he does drugs / smokes, if he is religious, how much he knows about our religion, if he does sins, if he has a "good" personality, if he is dominant... What the Fuck?

My dad is probably actually crazy. Seriously. All that OBSESSION with his status and me is weird. He said he'd kill for his status and how our family looks. There's so much else I didn't mention here too. He thinks everything is "not pure" like all my hobbies and everything I do. Literally anything. Drawing? Anime? A different style? Walking different? Mental issues? Disabilities? Eating? Yes. I have no privacy at all. Even going to the bathroom! I can't stay in too long or he waits at the door so I don't do anything inappropriate or cut myself again. I can't even stay up nights easily because he always will hear me and he wakes up so easily even if it's just me standing up from my bed that makes noises. Sometimes he sleeps in the same room as me. He even often checks up my body and looks in my bags, around my room, in my bed, closets to make sure I'm not hiding anything. He once found I had vodka in my closet and I managed to convince him I didn't buy that or wasn't gonna drink it. He found belongings he didn't like. I don't know. Enegry drinks, knives / blades, papers, drawings, notes, figures / plushies.
He always thinks I'll end up doing something unpure. sex work or be a slut I don't know?? He told me that even as a kid. Even when I was 14-15. I never even had him see anything like me being with guys, or sharing pictures of me. I have no idea why he thinks that. He's paranoid as fuck and obessed with religion. He would kill me for God. He believes his dreams are a sign of something. He could be dreaming of me doing something bad and being mad at me and watching out even more for me. Ffs I'm over 20 already.

I know I could leave legally and get away. I just can't though. I couldn't live on my own, I couldn't leave everything behind, I have too many belongings I'd have to take, I am scared he'd find me, I don't wanna leave my mom, I don't wanna leave my cat, I don't want a suddenly huge change (I have autism)

I still wanna do something about it. Any advice or something?

I'm so sorry. Sadly I have no advice because my family is very toxic at times aswell, although not to this extent. I want you to know you're not the only one and that it's not your fault, nor are you pathetic for being controlled by them against your will at 20. I'd post about my experiences too but I fear people thinking I'm underage, because society believes people with abusive parents can just leave when they turn 18. But it's not that simple. I know the pathetic feeling of being an adult and still treated like a child. I hope you manage to be free from them.

 

[jeevasO-o]

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I'm so sorry. Sadly I have no advice because my family is very toxic at times aswell, although not to this extent. I want you to know you're not the only one and that it's not your fault, nor are you pathetic for being controlled by them against your will at 20. I'd post about my experiences too but I fear people thinking I'm underage, because society believes people with abusive parents can just leave when they turn 18. But it's not that simple. I know the pathetic feeling of being an adult and still treated like a child. I hope you manage to be free from them.

Thanks!!<3 I understand I'm so sorry for you too. Unfortunately it's not easy to just leave when you're "an adult" / 18 but people assume it

I saw something in news, and thought of you. How are you?

Aww really? Thank you so much for asking! I'm kinda pretty bad at the moment. Today was a horrible day unfortunately. Been feeling very depressed for no reason