Apostle
Student
- Apr 17, 2019
- 129
I've only fairly recently started thinking about exactly how to approach this if I do go through with it. The hardest parts I'm sure will be the technical/physical side of setting up a reliable hanging (probably the only method I have any chance of getting access to at the moment) and gathering the nerve to actually do it. I'll probably mainly get into that stuff in other, more dedicated threads on this forum, but to start with, there's some more general stuff surrounding the CTB I'm trying to plan out, and any thoughts, criticisms or additions would be greatly appreciated.
Firstly, there's my environment, and how much time and privacy it offers. I'm pretty confident this is the easy part, it's certainly the least of my concerns, but I'll run the main details by you guys just in case. I'm a NEET, living in a small condo. Naturally, I have several hours to myself on certain days of the week when my whole family works, and nobody really concerns themselves with what happens at home during those hours. We do have thin walls, which sound carries through pretty easily to the neighbors, whose schedules I'm less familiar with. But, everyone in the condo makes all kinds of noise without anyone batting an eye. I'm not sure exactly what hanging sounds like but I'm guessing the main source of noise would be a bit of banging as my body struggles, especially if it's full suspension. We're all pretty used to random banging in this building so I don't think it'd catch anyone's attention. We also have a dog, who I'll probably lock up (in a crate that's built for him and he's used to) right before doing the deed, so he doesn't freak out too much or mess with anything. If he "senses" me in peril and starts barking and whining, again, I don't think anyone will care because he does that a lot. That pretty much sums up the environment aspect of the plan: Family work day, dog locked away, hang myself early enough that my body has a few hours to dangle and be long-dead by the time anyone gets home.
The second part, I guess I'll call it the "framing", which concerns where I die, where the note goes, and what goes in the note. The actual location of the hanging within this part of the condo doesn't offer many options. As far as I'm concerned, it's going to have to be either my bedroom or the basement. The note I feel should be in the living room, near the front door or stairway, to be seen almost immediately when whoever comes home first gets here. I want them to know I'm dead before they see I'm dead. Obviously it'll be horrific no matter what but it seems slightly less cruel to give some notice and semi-prepare them to see the corpse. The note itself will probably open with a line mentioning my death, just to get that out of the way as soon as possible. Then it will go on to explain that my death, and everything leading to it, was brought upon me by myself, that my family did nothing wrong, and that the purpose of offing myself is just to stop my self-destructive behavior that has done nothing but harm myself and them for all these years. I'll give my affection and best wishes, and the typical goodbye. Pretty standard, I imagine, for a suicide note, but that's about all that comes to mind. I also have a bracelet from my girlfriend that I always wear, and I think I want to take it off and leave it near the note, not just as a gesture but also to remind them to let her know.
So yeah, outside of the technical and mental preparation aspects which I haven't looked too deeply into at this stage, that's basically where my suicide plan is at the moment. Let me know if any of you find any problems or feel like I didn't explain something properly. Thank you all for giving me this space to discuss this, and thanks in advance for any feedback about the beginnings of this plan.
Firstly, there's my environment, and how much time and privacy it offers. I'm pretty confident this is the easy part, it's certainly the least of my concerns, but I'll run the main details by you guys just in case. I'm a NEET, living in a small condo. Naturally, I have several hours to myself on certain days of the week when my whole family works, and nobody really concerns themselves with what happens at home during those hours. We do have thin walls, which sound carries through pretty easily to the neighbors, whose schedules I'm less familiar with. But, everyone in the condo makes all kinds of noise without anyone batting an eye. I'm not sure exactly what hanging sounds like but I'm guessing the main source of noise would be a bit of banging as my body struggles, especially if it's full suspension. We're all pretty used to random banging in this building so I don't think it'd catch anyone's attention. We also have a dog, who I'll probably lock up (in a crate that's built for him and he's used to) right before doing the deed, so he doesn't freak out too much or mess with anything. If he "senses" me in peril and starts barking and whining, again, I don't think anyone will care because he does that a lot. That pretty much sums up the environment aspect of the plan: Family work day, dog locked away, hang myself early enough that my body has a few hours to dangle and be long-dead by the time anyone gets home.
The second part, I guess I'll call it the "framing", which concerns where I die, where the note goes, and what goes in the note. The actual location of the hanging within this part of the condo doesn't offer many options. As far as I'm concerned, it's going to have to be either my bedroom or the basement. The note I feel should be in the living room, near the front door or stairway, to be seen almost immediately when whoever comes home first gets here. I want them to know I'm dead before they see I'm dead. Obviously it'll be horrific no matter what but it seems slightly less cruel to give some notice and semi-prepare them to see the corpse. The note itself will probably open with a line mentioning my death, just to get that out of the way as soon as possible. Then it will go on to explain that my death, and everything leading to it, was brought upon me by myself, that my family did nothing wrong, and that the purpose of offing myself is just to stop my self-destructive behavior that has done nothing but harm myself and them for all these years. I'll give my affection and best wishes, and the typical goodbye. Pretty standard, I imagine, for a suicide note, but that's about all that comes to mind. I also have a bracelet from my girlfriend that I always wear, and I think I want to take it off and leave it near the note, not just as a gesture but also to remind them to let her know.
So yeah, outside of the technical and mental preparation aspects which I haven't looked too deeply into at this stage, that's basically where my suicide plan is at the moment. Let me know if any of you find any problems or feel like I didn't explain something properly. Thank you all for giving me this space to discuss this, and thanks in advance for any feedback about the beginnings of this plan.
