Venting triggered by school shooting

[tatumtots]

Do anyone else's thoughts of ctb get worse with mentions of violence? There was a school shooting near me and it's been really exacerbating my already constant thoughts of ctb. I keep having these intrusive thoughts about the notes the shooter left behind, about having thoughts that won't stop. I've never thought about hurting anyone but my thoughts of harming myself feel out of control, they're so loud it's hard to focus on my work sometimes in a corporate office. I believe that school shooters should be locked away for life, but what about people that fantasize about hurting themselves? What kind of life is there going to be for me outside of being hospitalized?