There's literally nowhere inside or outside of the house (I live in my grandparents' house) to do full suspension hanging nor partial (and even if I could do partial hanging, it would be too risky for me. I'd rather just do full suspension). I have a pocket knife, but cutting or stabbing myself myself won't do shit, nor would it be worth it. None of the millions of my grandmother's pills in the medicine cabinet would do anything either, not that I would even get myself to put a single pill in my mouth without almost barfing up a storm. There's nowhere high enough for me to jump (it's too risky anyway). None of the several guns that I have access to around the house (in the garage) are even loaded (HAHAHAHAHA!!! Jokes on meee for thinking they were, right?!!!). But the ONE gun in the house that is loaded is stashed in my grandfather's room (which I won't use because I can't get myself to go in his room, nor use it. I just happened to discover it while he was out one day). SHIT!!!
I don't know what to do. I Don't. Know. I seriously don't want to be alive anymore. I'm officially done with life. Yet, it feels like I'm trapped in Hell, called life, with no way out of it.
Edit: I forgot to mention that I can't go to a gun shop and purchase my own gun, because I can't drive. Otherwise, I wouldn't be having any of these problems right now.
I don't know what to do. I Don't. Know. I seriously don't want to be alive anymore. I'm officially done with life. Yet, it feels like I'm trapped in Hell, called life, with no way out of it.
Edit: I forgot to mention that I can't go to a gun shop and purchase my own gun, because I can't drive. Otherwise, I wouldn't be having any of these problems right now.
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