Torn between two desires.

[Diceroller90]

I want to die, been wanting to for a while if you look at my join date, and I can acquire a firearm (thinking glock 10mm) today if I so wanted, and something about dying on 5/5/25 just sounds poetic. Honestly I should feel lucky considering that is a massive hurdle that some people cannot overcome, but truthfully I just want to die looking somewhat good. Wearing nice clothes, get my nails done, the works. However it is hard to look good when you are missing half of your skull.

Is it silly that simple vanity is holding me back? Part of me thinks its just SI trying to be sneaky throwing any obstacle in my path...

 

[Pale_Rider]

A lot I could say here as dark humor, but Id ask you to hold on.

 

[CatLvr]

I would say go ahead and get a firearm and put it in the closet. You don't say whether you know how to handle a weapon so if you do not, I would encourage you to take lessons and practice. For a while. Like 6 or 7 months, once a week or so.

THEN decide if you want to use a firearm. I know you will miss your 5/5/25 date but there is always 6/6/26??

 

[bankai]

Vanity is understandable. I've been going to the gym for years now and taking care of my health. I'm just not able to reconcile CTB methods like gunshots. I just don't want to do anything that will horrifically disfigure or destroy my body. So here I am. It's gonna take time to really decide and commit to the method and that's fine.Maybe by the time that happens, I'll die of natural causes. Wouldn't that be phenomenal?

but there is always 6/6/26??

Ooh la la!

Time goes by pretty quick. I honestly wouldn't be concerned about an extra year.

 

[Diceroller90]

A lot I could say here as dark humor, but Id ask you to hold on.

If you want to PM me the dark humor, I could use a laugh.

I would say go ahead and get a firearm and put it in the closet. You don't say whether you know how to handle a weapon so if you do not, I would encourage you to take lessons and practice. For a while. Like 6 or 7 months, once a week or so.

THEN decide if you want to use a firearm. I know you will miss your 5/5/25 date but there is always 6/6/26??

I have firearms training with handguns thanks to a government gig I did a while back. I can shoot without jerking the trigger. I joined here 5 years ago because I was in my mid 20s and realized nothing was going my way despite trying. I left since I figured I would give it the rest of my 20s. Now my 20s are coming to an end, my rut has only gotten deeper, and I just don't know if I can muster enough delusion/optimism that things could get better.

Vanity is understandable. I've been going to the gym for years now and taking care of my health. I'm just not able to reconcile CTB methods like gunshots. I just don't want to do anything that will horrifically disfigure or destroy my body. So here I am. It's gonna take time to really decide and commit to the method and that's fine.Maybe by the time that happens, I'll die of natural causes. Wouldn't that be phenomenal?

I get it. Glad we are in the same boat. Well, not glad as I wish we were in happier boats, but its nice to see I am not alone. Honestly if there was a cleaner way I would do it. I have a business trip in a few weeks to a country the PPEH said N could be found (not Boliva or Peru) but I have no idea how successful I would be in that hunt. Do I just go to random pharmacies and just ask for it? Logistically, its easier for me to get the gun. I do not look suicidal, I have a clean mental health record, and know to avoid the common tripfalls (like making sure you buy a few boxes of ammo so it looks like you aren't going to commit suicide)

 

[Pale_Rider]

If you want to PM me the dark humor, I could use a laugh.


I have firearms training with handguns thanks to a government gig I did a while back. I can shoot without jerking the trigger. I joined here 5 years ago because I was in my mid 20s and realized nothing was going my way despite trying. I left since I figured I would give it the rest of my 20s. Now my 20s are coming to an end, my rut has only gotten deeper, and I just don't know if I can muster enough delusion/optimism that things could get better.



I get it. Glad we are in the same boat. Well, not glad as I wish we were in happier boats, but its nice to see I am not alone. Honestly if there was a cleaner way I would do it. I have a business trip in a few weeks to a country the PPEH said N could be found (not Boliva or Peru) but I have no idea how successful I would be in that hunt. Do I just go to random pharmacies and just ask for it? Logistically, its easier for me to get the gun. I do not look suicidal, I have a clean mental health record, and know to avoid the common tripfalls (like making sure you buy a few boxes of ammo so it looks like you aren't going to commit suicide)

Well you know men love women. Imagine if you had to scrape the bodies how you might judge them. Based on whats left. I say this because you have federal firearms training only, but efforts likely wouldn't go unappreciated. Even missing half a skull.