Today?

[willitpass]

I want to go today. I feel so tired and the thought of going on any longer is unbearable. I need to pick up my prescription that I will be taking a full bottle of (a heart medication that slows your heart rate, an overdose can stop your heart). My plan is to get a hotel, bring my prescription, benadryl, alcohol, and a rope just in case. Take 300mg of benadryl with some alcohol, when that starts to make me feel drowsy I'll down my heart medication. If all goes well, I don't wake up. If I wake up, then I will hang myself. I'll set up the rope at a ligature point prior to doing this so all I would have to do is put the rope around my neck.

The only thing stopping me is a fear of failing. God I don't want to fail. If I fail my life is over.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry you have to go through this. I wish you all the best with your plan. May you find peace! Safe travels and good luck!

 

[FuneralCry]

I also fear that as well, it's really cruel to me how people cannot just die in peace and have to worry about ctb potentially failing in the first place. But anyway I hope that you find freedom from your suffering.

 

[SVEN]

Best wishes for everything workng out and your finding rest and peace.

 

[Dliena]

Wishing you eternal peace from anymore pains whenever you feel your time approaches OP.

 

[LittleJem]

I hope it all goes well for you and wish you peace