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SuicideBoys93

SuicideBoys93

I am the lord of loneliness.
Feb 10, 2020
324
I attended a funeral today for a family friend. In the face of death, I found life. I have spent the past three years picturing my departure from this life. I wanted to die because I stopped living. I walked up to the casket picturing myself in the casket wondering what it was like. At the moment in time the person I was looking at has answered one of the hottest topics on this board and in life. What was next? Is there a next? I was overwhelmed with the emotion of wanting to feel alive. French writer Francois Rabelais last words were "I go to seek a great perhaps." Some of you may recognize this from the novel Looking For Alaska. A book that I fell in love with reading at such a young age that I could honestly say sparked my interest in reading. Today I realized I want my great perhaps to be sought after here in this life. My life will more than likely not be easy. At points it may seem not worth living, but I made a promise to myself today that I would live. Today was most definitely weird and unexpecting.
 
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D

Deleted member 1465

_
Jul 31, 2018
6,914
I attended a funeral today for a family friend. In the face of death, I found life. I have spent the past three years picturing my departure from this life. I wanted to die because I stopped living. I walked up to the casket picturing myself in the casket wondering what it was like. At the moment in time the person I was looking at has answered one of the hottest topics on this board and in life. What was next? Is there a next? I was overwhelmed with the emotion of wanting to feel alive. French writer Francois Rabelais last words were "I go to seek a great perhaps." Some of you may recognize this from the novel Looking For Alaska. A book that I fell in love with reading at such a young age that I could honestly say sparked my interest in reading. Today I realized I want my great perhaps to be sought after here in this life. My life will more than likely not be easy. At points it may seem not worth living, but I made a promise to myself today that I would live. Today was most definitely weird and unexpecting.
Funerals can indeed be odd like that. It gets real when you are at the pointy end of it. Welcome to Recovery Road. It's long and lonely and sometimes feels pointless, but it's here and that's something. :smiling:
 
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CoalmineCanary

CoalmineCanary

Member
Jul 15, 2020
477
At points it may seem not worth living, but I made a promise to myself today that I would live. Today was most definitely weird and unexpecting.

You know what? Good on you for following through on your promise to yourself even under strange circumstances. You gave it another go.
 

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