Thread for the lonely

[lovedread]

TW; loserposting / L posting about
Does anyone else feel sad reading posts on here sometimes about how committing suicide would affect their girlfriend or their best friend bc you know your own suicide wouldn't really affect anyone? On the one hand it's a good thing, no one to feel guilty about, but on the other hand I can't help but feel that if I had a few friends maybe suicide wouldn't be such an attractive option. I hate that it's been like 6 years since I've been on this site. And the thing is life wasn't even that bad when I first tried committing suicide. I had friends, prospects, good hygiene. Now I have almost zero friends. I can go weeks or months without reaching out to anyone and no one would bat an eye. Some family members would care I guess but most wouldn't. I wish i was normal. I know 2 people who would be genuinely happy if I died

Summary: i am jealous of those of you who have people to worry about if you leave.

I can still understand being suicidal even if you do, don't get me wrong. Life is hell

 

[LastNite]

Before my dumb attempt I could go years without any actual conversations. Just simple ones like hey come eat or hey take out the garbage. I dont got friends and never had any. I spent all my years at school sitting alone and I could go weeks of absences and the teachers wouldnt notice theyd only do so when I dont get in my homework. Believe it or not I gotten marked plenty of times as present when I wasn't lol. Now my parents do check up on me but thats only because they heard of what I did and even then my father seems annoyed and embarrassed about it because his religious and cultural beliefs comes first.

 

[cait_sith]

I don't really envy people for having people in their lives that they would hurt with their choice but at the same time it reminds me how freakish it actually is if someone has literally nobody in their life like how it's in my case. even on a forum like this I am an absolute outlier for having no one in my life, including no relatives that are all dead. Most people can't even gasp that a person would exsist that has nobody, I remember back when I was in school many years ago and there was the topic about suicide as a famous footballplayer recently committed and one girl said, that I think is how most people think "Suicide is always bad because everybody has somebody in their lives that would be sad", like it's basically a fundamental law of human exsistance that nobody deviates from, that everybody has somebody, and being reminded by that here hurts a lot. It's also bad to see that people who are able to maintain and have relationships and friendships still want to die, how am I supposed to live then if I can't get these basic things of existence

 

[thedevilwithin]

completely get you. everyone and everything just feels distant.

 

[bankai]

Try not to be envious, but would honestly kill to have what some of the people on here have. Says a lot when even people on a suicide forum have a better life than you.

The people on here have extremely different situations, I've noticed that as well. I mean, some people have it much harder than others. I've seen some posts about horrific abuse and trauma. I've been numb for some time after reading that. And I realized that my own situation isn't that bad at all. But my situation is still horrific. I'm actually well settled and financially able and can travel,eat nice food and game and do all of those things, but I cannot feel any joy anymore. So where do I go from here? Every day is pointless. And I don't see anywhere to go from here. That being said, life is good in the sense I have the benchmark of a good life.It just doesn't bring me joy though, and that's terrible because then nothing else is really going to do it.

TW; loserposting / L posting about
Does anyone else feel sad reading posts on here sometimes about how committing suicide would affect their girlfriend or their best friend bc you know your own suicide wouldn't really affect anyone? On the one hand it's a good thing, no one to feel guilty about, but on the other hand I can't help but feel that if I had a few friends maybe suicide wouldn't be such an attractive option. I hate that it's been like 6 years since I've been on this site. And the thing is life wasn't even that bad when I first tried committing suicide. I had friends, prospects, good hygiene. Now I have almost zero friends. I can go weeks or months without reaching out to anyone and no one would bat an eye. Some family members would care I guess but most wouldn't. I wish i was normal. I know 2 people who would be genuinely happy if I died

Summary: i am jealous of those of you who have people to worry about if you leave.

I can still understand being suicidal even if you do, don't get me wrong. Life is hell

Interestingly, I have a lot of friends from school and college. But I'm utterly alone at this point because all of them have left the country and gone elsewhere for jobs and settled down.The only places I go to are my office for work and the gym. No social life or clubbing, nor do I want to do that kind of stuff. I'm not really sure about meeting new people at this stage as an adult. I don't make friends easily anymore like I did in school or college.

 

[ThatGuyOverThere]

This thread really has me thinking about how lonely I used to be. It has sort of put into perspective how long I have went without real human connection that it has become normalized and has seemingly no effect on me anymore.

I used to spent most of my time depressed envious of others ability to enjoy human to human contact, but slowly I have lost touch with that desire, and it has instead been replaced by a resentment of such people, how could people actually enjoy friendships, how can they look past all the bad, and pretend that there is only good to be found.

It just seems so alien to me, like observing the culture or traditions of an uncontacted tribe, and projecting your modern values onto, with all the confusion of why they act in such a way, why they do things that seemingly only you have an understanding of why it's wrong.

 

[bankai]

just seems so alien to me, like observing the culture or traditions of an uncontacted tribe,

Off topic I know, but I just came across this article where this guy tried to reach the uncontacted tribe. He could have wiped them out.
Apparently trying to contact them is illegal because everyone who has contacted them has been killed in the past. Also, since they are not vaccinated against diseases that we are vaccinated against, they have no immunity towards them. So you can wipe them out by making contact with them.

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www.nytimes.com

 

[ThatGuyOverThere]

Off topic I know, but I just came across this article where this guy tried to reach the uncontacted tribe. He could have wiped them out.
Apparently trying to contact them is illegal because everyone who has contacted them has been killed in the past. Also, since they are not vaccinated against diseases that we are vaccinated against, they have no immunity towards them. So you can wipe them out by making contact with them.

Loading…

www.nytimes.com

https://history.howstuffworks.com/world-history/north-sentinel-island.htm
Yeah They have always interested me, they always seemed like a case study for how human civilizations are built or rather what they are like prior to "civilizing", there are a whole bunch of them scattered all over the world: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uncontacted_peoples most of them seem to live in jungle or islands. Really interesting stuff!

 

[sambrosia]

And the thing is life wasn't even that bad when I first tried committing suicide. I had friends, prospects, good hygiene. Now I have almost zero friends. I can go weeks or months without reaching out to anyone and no one would bat an eye. Some family members would care I guess but most wouldn't. I wish i was normal.

Ugh I feel you so hard on this. I didn't try committing suicide proper, but I kinda did metaphorically by basically having a public mental breakdown. No former friends talk to me and I'm not involved in any of the extracurricular stuff I used to do, so my life is super limited and lonely. And I used to complain and feel badly before, but now it's actually bad.

Sigh.

Wish I could go back in time.

I am sorry you're dealing with this. I also agree with your sentiment about maybe having friends would curb some of the suicidality. Like Amy Winehouse in Rehab, "I just need a friend."

 

[Renato]

When I read threads about not hurting people close to us I always think about relatives at first. As soon as I understand that they are talking about significant others I usually get reassured that I have objectively strong reasons for my desire to leave: from a biological standpoint we are not meant to live completely alone and this is breaking my spirit way more than I could have anticipated in the past.

The contact list on my phone is so embarassingly short that I refrain from opening it in public as if it was some nsfw stuff...

 

[usernamesarehard]

I have a best friend and a large family. So large I'm sure there are some in my family that wouldn't be affected by my death because they don't really know me. Maybe they've heard of my name but I don't/ haven't talked to them.

Yeah there definitely would be a lot of people who would be sad about my death. Doesn't change much of anything though. I love a lot of them, but not enough to live for them.

I'm sorry you have no one. It's really sad that whether you have people who would care or not is entirely up to luck.

 

[Cinnamorolls]

Does anyone else feel sad reading posts on here sometimes about how committing suicide would affect their girlfriend or their best friend bc you know your own suicide wouldn't really affect anyone? On the one hand it's a good thing, no one to feel guilty about, but on the other hand I can't help but feel that if I had a few friends maybe suicide wouldn't be such an attractive option.

Yes, exactly the same for me. If I had people who genuinely enjoyed my company and wanted me around, that would make me significantly less suicidal (though maybe not completely quell the urge).

 

[adoptedpain]

TW; loserposting / L posting about
Does anyone else feel sad reading posts on here sometimes about how committing suicide would affect their girlfriend or their best friend bc you know your own suicide wouldn't really affect anyone? On the one hand it's a good thing, no one to feel guilty about, but on the other hand I can't help but feel that if I had a few friends maybe suicide wouldn't be such an attractive option. I hate that it's been like 6 years since I've been on this site. And the thing is life wasn't even that bad when I first tried committing suicide. I had friends, prospects, good hygiene. Now I have almost zero friends. I can go weeks or months without reaching out to anyone and no one would bat an eye. Some family members would care I guess but most wouldn't. I wish i was normal. I know 2 people who would be genuinely happy if I died

Summary: i am jealous of those of you who have people to worry about if you leave.

I can still understand being suicidal even if you do, don't get me wrong. Life is hell

I relate to this sentiment as it resonates so deeply with me. Also need a real person to share and communicate with as therapy, medication, and alternative medicine treatments lack the power of human connection to feel understood compared to judged by others- trying to pm/dm, am unsure and would like to connect so I can communicate authentically with others who understand a deep internal pain. Possible ways out, however seeks to be progressing in a negative trend. Please reach out if you are a real
Human looking for genuine judgment free discussions.

 

[darksouls]

I never had human friends
only my pets gave me love
my family abused me
that is why I moved far away
I have no social contacts

 

[Pluto]