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yeaimhere13

yeaimhere13

why me?
Sep 14, 2023
90
alright so due to recent events in my life, ive completely lost any sense of self i still had. i am not planning to CTB right now. i don't think im ready yet. but i was wondering if there is anything I can do to sort of separate myself from.. well myself! here is my idea:

i still live with my parents soooo im thinking of completely redoing my bedroom. and when i say "redo" i mean take everything off the walls, pull down any decorations, get rid of anything that is not necessary to my existence right now, change my bedding to something simple and clean looking, maybe even change my clothes and start wearing a uniform every day so i don't have to spend time figuring out what i want to wear (plus i could get rid of my clothes). id also like to get off socials, delete any accounts/apps that arent necessary, distance from people that i talk to regularly, etc.

i would do this gradually btw not all at once

i think doing this would help me cut off ties to my identity. it's worth a try at least.

im so fucking tired of grasping at paper straws. spending hours looking through old photo albums and memory boxes. constantly seeking reassurance from others. wasting the days away crying and bitching about my life. i know there is an end for me, but i'm not there yet. i just need something to help me hold on a bit longer. i fucking hate "me", so why not get rid of her?
 
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citrusrope

citrusrope

Student
Feb 13, 2025
115
I think I understand somewhat, even if not completely. I live so much in the past ruminating over and over, and looking at old photos or old memories makes me so suicidal at times. It doesn't help that I hate myself too, just... everything that I am. I haven't had the courage to let go of all my stuff and change everything, but I think it is also worth a try.

Maybe going through a drastic change and burning everything of the past and the past you could be cathartic... I'll wish you luck 😺
 
MatrixPrisoner

MatrixPrisoner

Enlightened
Jul 8, 2023
1,832
You'd be surprised how much minimalism can change your life. I think minimialism should be taught in schools at an early age. Material things clutter up your mind and health. Try it. It could be life changing.


 

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