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aceless_spade

aceless_spade

Trying to find hope
Sep 26, 2024
13
I am currently alive only for the people around me. I can feel myself dying slowly, despite my medication, therapy, strong friendships and strong marriage. I desire to die but I cant imagine the pain others would feel around me. I bring this up because I want to see what others think about this. I am very lucky to be in a position where I do have strong relationships but I know many here don't. I am curious to see other perspectives on how they feel about the impact their CTB will cause on others. Let me know what you think.
 
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prettyclam

prettyclam

Member
Nov 29, 2024
36
I don't have many strong connections like you, but I feel bad about how my ctb will affect my dog and girlfriend. They're the only people who remotely care for me. It's a weird concept to grasp, how having solid connections still doesn't guarentee motivation to live, but I get where you're coming from. Sometimes a good friend or husband or family member isn't enough
 
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aceless_spade

aceless_spade

Trying to find hope
Sep 26, 2024
13
I don't have many strong connections like you, but I feel bad about how my ctb will affect my dog and girlfriend. They're the only people who remotely care for me. It's a weird concept to grasp, how having solid connections still doesn't guarentee motivation to live, but I get where you're coming from. Sometimes a good friend or husband or family member isn't enough
It's painful because they really care about you but they can't change you. Youre stuck with that task
 
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Polyxo

Polyxo

Ring Ding Dong!
Mar 1, 2025
114
I'm the youngest daughter. My parents and sister have done nothing but love me and support me. When I CTB it will be in the house I was raised in, where my parents are. The only thing I can do is leave a note saying how fucking sorry I am and how nothing was their fault. How it's okay to hate the motherfucker who killed their daughter and baby sister.
 
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DaLifelessLiving

DaLifelessLiving

Student
Jun 4, 2025
5
I don't have any deep connections with other people and I grew up in a dysfunctional and financially unstable family. I'm not gonna worried about their reactions because I always felt empty and I don't know what should I live for, the only reason why I am still alive is because I'm indecisive and I still wanted to finish college and get a job so I can save money for my family not for love but for a sense of obligation I owed for them since they spend money for my studies, and I also want to save money for my funeral so they don't have to spend even just a single penny. I don't want to just die being worthless...
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,534
I see suicide as a personal decision, not something for others to decide, I don't believe that people should be forced to suffer in this deeply undesirable, torturous existence, to me forcing people to suffer is extreme cruelty especially as I never asked for any of this and never would had chosen it, more than anything I wish I was never burdened with this existence of unnecessary suffering I just always saw as such a cruel, terrible mistake and I find it so unbearable how a human can suffer in this existence for so long just to be tortured by old age with no limit as to how much agony they can feel and cease existing anyway.
 

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