Thoughts after being on Buproprion despite initial suicidal thoughts:

[ImogenHeap]

The first few days I felt normal, then I started having passive suicidal ideations - I wished it would be better if I had died - but I didn't actually want to commit or do anything that would result in that had it been too painful. This went away as fast as it came, and I started feeling less anxious in situations where I had previously felt anxiety: I spoke up more where I had kept quiet, I dealt with people better, knew when to discount other people's opinions of me.

This kept up until the past week or so, when I started feeling suicidal. This time it's different from the time in the beginning. In particular, I notice my will to actually commit being stronger and my lack of regard for my family members is much more to the point where I'm considering breaking off w/ my SO amicably but not revealing it to them - I don't want to have to tell them that my liking them is countervailed by my desire to commit suicide.

I think the suicidal thoughts are countervailed by the benefits the drug brings me, I don't want to have to go back to the way I was before, so I likely will be continuing the drug until the foreseeable end.

Note: Yes, the drug was prescribed to me. Yes my psychiatrist knew about my having passive suicidal ideations in the beginning. Yes they told me it was OK to continue the drug.

 

[ImogenHeap]

Hey, so, uh, I stopped wanting to kill myself today and the day after I posted that; IDK what's going on. I still have passive ideations, though, but no the drive to actually kill myself has reduced significantly.

This is practically similar to how it was in the beginning when I began the drug.

 

[Forveleth]

How long have you been on it?

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

My cocktail will include Wellbutrin soon. Maybe that'll help. Maybe I'll hang myself tonight!

 

[carfemtanyl]

I don't know if this applies to Wellbutrin as it's an atypical antidepressant but SSRIs make you feel even more depressed and shit for the first few weeks before it gets better.

 

[ImogenHeap]

How long have you been on it?

Months now, I think I started in September. I think I made this account while I was on bupropion.

My cocktail will include Wellbutrin soon. Maybe that'll help.

Why?

I don't know if this applies to Wellbutrin as it's an atypical antidepressant but SSRIs make you feel even more depressed and shit for the first few weeks before it gets better.

Thanks for the response, yeah I've heard it's atypical, and it's not technically an SSRI, iirc. I do recall hearing something about how it makes people suicidal, but that's about it. Having said that, I've been on the drug for a few months now. Probably close to 3.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

I don't know if this applies to Wellbutrin as it's an atypical antidepressant but SSRIs make you feel even more depressed and shit for the first few weeks before it gets better.

In my experience it's pretty much a stimulant right away. Not Adderall strong but noticeable. You might become chatty

Why?

Idk, doctor asked and I was like: okay

 

[orpheus_]

I have been on it since june this year, increased dose since september. I don't really remember how it worked on me when I first started it, but after increasing the dose I had a few days of feeling weirdly motivated, energized and just.. able to do things unlike normal. Like someone above mentioned, almost a stimulant-like effect I guess. Then I had a two or three week long crash, then I guess it "stabilized", going back to how it was before this med, so ups and downs in general.

I feel like in the long run it did not influence my mood or suicidal thoughts BUT it did increase my energy and motivation which is normally a good thing... But I noticed that now when I feel like shit I go into active suicidal mode much quicker. Before bupropion I would just go to sleep and turn off my mind, forget about everything, now I can't do it most times.

 

[Forveleth]

...SSRIs make you feel even more depressed and shit for the first few weeks before it gets better.

Everyone reacts differently to SSRIs and SNRIs. You can not make generalizations like this.

 

[sohopelessandempty]

The first few days I felt normal, then I started having passive suicidal ideations - I wished it would be better if I had died - but I didn't actually want to commit or do anything that would result in that had it been too painful. This went away as fast as it came, and I started feeling less anxious in situations where I had previously felt anxiety: I spoke up more where I had kept quiet, I dealt with people better, knew when to discount other people's opinions of me.

This kept up until the past week or so, when I started feeling suicidal. This time it's different from the time in the beginning. In particular, I notice my will to actually commit being stronger and my lack of regard for my family members is much more to the point where I'm considering breaking off w/ my SO amicably but not revealing it to them - I don't want to have to tell them that my liking them is countervailed by my desire to commit suicide.

I think the suicidal thoughts are countervailed by the benefits the drug brings me, I don't want to have to go back to the way I was before, so I likely will be continuing the drug until the foreseeable end.

Note: Yes, the drug was prescribed to me. Yes my psychiatrist knew about my having passive suicidal ideations in the beginning. Yes they told me it was OK to continue the drug.

This entire thread really stresses me out, I want to try but I'm scared of the thoughts getting worse. My parents are gonna treat me so badly if I end up in the mental hospital(I'm 18, just stuck with them since I can't afford to move out).

 

[TheMadmanJL]

None of the newer generation psychiatric meds are worth a damn! My problems can be solved by getting hit by a bus,

 

[urgent]

I don't like wellbutrin at all. It's hard to tell when you're on other meds to. I just know going way back I've been on meds for a long time now for several medical reasons. Before I was on anything but levothyroxine for Hashimato disease, hypothyroidism I started to just not feel right. I felt jittery, couldn't sleep,things didn't taste right, I felt anxious. My doctor put me on a low dose of Celexa. I didn't have much faith in medication. I started to feel better. For years I was good.I ended up getting really bad anxiety and panic attacks. I was always tired. I didn't want to go to work. I started to isolate, make excuses, do less.I ended up in bed crying. I called my doctor, he said come in for an appointment. I said I can't. He said I'll write you a script, come get it and take it to the pharmacy, before you could call in sedatives or send electronically.I said I can't even do that.Usually I would have been to embarrassed to tell anyone that.I was so ashamed.I hid anxiety and depression for so long.I felt like I couldn't drive, or look at anyone. He was such a caring person. He actually took it to the pharmacy for me! He gave me Ativan for 2 weeks and a higher dose of Celexa.I felt better i was waking up earlier and earlier. Happy all the time. I got everything done, was doing more and more. I wasn't even tired at bedtime. That lasted a few years. Each time it came back worse.That dr. my gp retired. I got so bad I went to the crisis center. The Dr was nasty. Mad because I refused to be admitted. He gave me Zoloft. I got bad dry mouth, ended up with burning tongue and mouth syndrome. I still have it. Went to specialist. It is tremendously painful at this point to eat,talk,brush. But as my dr and meds changed with the ups and downs and wellbutrin was added I felt more and more anxiety and panic attacks.I was on kolonipin. That's the first thing that made me think of about suicide but I knew I wouldn't do it. I told the Dr, Lexapro, tried zanax,Valium. Nothing could calm me. The Dr got mad at me and said that's your choice pick a sedative and an antidepressant. Didn't help, told me I had to be admitted for just 2 or 3 days. I can sign myself out. Worst mistake! They kept changing meds. I was also on other meds for medical issues and bad insomnia for years. Anyway they wouldn't let me sign myself out. They had me on strong drugs. I was there 3 months through the holidays because I couldn't fake being better. I just got emotional when I tried to answer in group shit and didn't participate unless it was mandatory. I have realized I'm going on about this but I do feel wellbutrin is when things got bad for me.I finally got out but sent back.I got so thin and sick in there. I was punched so hard in the face ,totally out of the blue, some aggressive huge patient 4 times my weight. My head hit the doorframe then the cement ,layed out cold for a few seconds. They put me in bed bleeding. I got up and called 911. They monitor calls so they disconnected the call. I called my husband. 911 called back and they shut the phone off on everyone. They wouldn't let my husband in. He insisted the cop check on me. I told him I wanted to press charges. He said i can't and left. They held me down and injected me. Sorry, going off again. I'll end it with changing meds scares me. I don't like the new drugs.

 

[venerated-vader]

Been on Wellbutrin since October 2024. It absolutely made my ideation worse, and it did the first time I was on it, but I haven't really said anything about it. Given I'm on this site... I should probably talk about it with my doc lol but it helped me a lot with weight loss and motivation, so