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nails

nails

Harry Callahan
Feb 12, 2023
250
i have to live this life where i don't even feel like a real person, i feel so disconnected and it's torturous. my migraine won't go away and i'm having anxiety attacks daily. i can't breathe and my legs are so shaky i can't stand. i hate knowing that i'll never have the chance to be who i want or do what i want, it's just not possible and i'll never be happy because of this. i have constant fantasies of living and then i feel even worse because i know they're not possible. i want to hurry and die, but i can't just yet. more than anything, i really want to live but it's just not possible. i can't live this miserably forever, i can't even handle it right now. even if everything gets better, there are so many things that just can't change and i can't live like this. no amount of advice or coping mechanisms help because it's just a fact that i will never be who or what i want to be. i am such a waste of life. it's so unfair to me and everyone else that i was born with no actual chance of being happy.
 
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E Butler

E Butler

Member
Feb 6, 2025
36
Why were you born with no actual chance of being happy?
 
DivineSpark

DivineSpark

Elementalist
Feb 9, 2025
831
anxiety, anhedonia, despair, emptiness, pain, demons (sadistic and cruel presence in my soul and mind)
 
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nails

nails

Harry Callahan
Feb 12, 2023
250
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E Butler

E Butler

Member
Feb 6, 2025
36
unfixable biological/psychological thing; i'll never be normal
Is is a chronic illness or disease? I most likely suffer from a random genetic mutation that means I can't process collagen right and that's a huge impact on my quality of life.
 
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nails

nails

Harry Callahan
Feb 12, 2023
250
Is is a chronic illness or disease? I most likely suffer from a random genetic mutation that means I can't process collagen right and that's a huge impact on my quality of life.
nothing that serious, i guess; but i can't get rid of it and i refuse to live with it.
and i'm sorry you're suffering, i hope you find some relief and/or peace soon.
 
E Butler

E Butler

Member
Feb 6, 2025
36
nothing that serious, i guess; but i can't get rid of it and i refuse to live with it.
and i'm sorry you're suffering, i hope you find some relief and/or peace
What is it you have sorry?
 

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