Venting this is how my dad responds to me…anyone else have a parent who makes things even worse?

[iamthezero]

me and my dad don't have the best relationship. he's an on and off alcoholic who walked out on me and my mom when i was 11 to go to rehab and never came back, didn't see him again until my moms funeral when i was 16. we didn't reconnect until i was like 24 and we've been talking off and on since then over the last few years. Im pretty open with him about wanting to die it just is what it is. i always joke to myself if i ever need that final push to jump i could just call my dad. (Obviously insurance has suicide clauses so he's just talking)



He'll say this and then the next message will be "i love you"
lol this is most recent from yesterday, im trying to get my "affairs" in order. one of the things i hold to my heart is my mothers stuff. he wants me to move in with him so he can have a full time caregiver and told me
I could find a job there.

 

[Horrors Lazuli]

My dad told me to just kill myself so that everyone can finally "move on." My grandparents' biggest concern was that I do it, it will reflect poorly on them and make it seem like it's "[their] fault." We have to recognize that after a while, when we make constant threats, people become desentized and won't believe us anymore.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

 

[iamthezero]

My dad told me to just kill myself so that everyone can finally "move on." My grandparents' biggest concern was that I do it, it will reflect poorly on them and make it seem like it's "[their] fault." We have to recognize that after a while, when we make constant threats, people become desentized and won't believe us anymore.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

damn no im sorry you have to deal with that kinda of thing with ur family thats fucked. I definitely get what your saying. I suppose it does eventually just becomes background noise to them. with my dad he's always responded to my mh in a way of "youre just not trying hard enough. I had fifteen thousand jobs, i was working three jobs as a baby! just do better!" never ever got the "let's get you some help. stay for me " ever nah he's like this out of touch exmarine with alcohol brain damage but that fact brings me no solace in how he talks to me. it feels like he wants to monetize it, he wants someone to take care of him, wash dishes etc tbh he wants a maid, a live in cna so he can live out the rest of his days with his feet kicked up bc he professionally runs off all other women. one hand I can't take him seriously on another he breaks my heart bc im his only child, he's my only parent and he doesn't give gaf not in the way I need or want

 

[looking4partner]

me and my dad don't have the best relationship. he's an on and off alcoholic who walked out on me and my mom when i was 11 to go to rehab and never came back, didn't see him again until my moms funeral when i was 16. we didn't reconnect until i was like 24 and we've been talking off and on since then over the last few years. Im pretty open with him about wanting to die it just is what it is. i always joke to myself if i ever need that final push to jump i could just call my dad. (Obviously insurance has suicide clauses so he's just talking)

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He'll say this and then the next message will be "i love you"
lol this is most recent from yesterday, im trying to get my "affairs" in order. one of the things i hold to my heart is my mothers stuff. he wants me to move in with him so he can have a full time caregiver and told me
I could find a job there.

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View attachment 186763

First of all, I am very sorry for his comments to you about your mental health & ideation.

I hope this is not too forward, but I thought I should let you know that becoming a caregiver causes ideation in a lot of people who have never experienced it before that, especially when it also involves family trauma. And I hope I am not making disabled people on here feel worse because I also need caregivers now so I understand that this can be hurtful for people who need help to hear.

But I just thought it would be important to let you know. Because most people don't realize everything that caregiving entails until they need to become one.

And I don't know if you are considering doing this or not, but it does seem like something that could affect your mental health worse. I also know that there are programs to hire caregivers that come to the house. Especially on state insurance. It can be less reliable than a place where you live, but would be helpful if you need info about alternatives to you doing it.

 

[JadedBeing]

I'm sorry you got unlucky and got this guy as your father.

He doesn't want to take responsible for the repercussion of being a deadbeat dad. And now that his actions are making him inconvenienced he feels like the victim He only worries about what he would have to pay for your funeral, instead of why you are suffering to even think about ending it. Caring about why you feel this way would mean that he had to admit that he's a horrible dad who left his 11 year old daughter and wife.

I understand that you might wanna talk to him since he's still important to you, but don't be so open with him. You should keep people like this at a distance.

 

[lawlietsph]

this is just purely sad, i am so sorry.
lots of us are in the same boat i feel like.
my parents destroyed my entire life for example, physical and verbal abuse and neglect was present in my entire childhood, but they continue do destroy me every single day

because i became an adult who is not capable of basic life, so I still live with my mother and my father also lives really close to me.

yeah, they basically neglected me in every way except food, gave me HUGE burdens, and they continue to do so up to this day.

i've been told by my mother "i wish you were never born" and many many awful things. she beat me up and dragged me by my hair when i did not understood math homework. and my father basically never gave a shit about us, he blames us for his fucked up life.

this is why i don't understand my existence, and I don't get it why should i keep going for one more minute. if the two people who are supposed to love me unconditionally can treat me like this, then what am i even hoping for, honestly