Venting thinking about death is the thing that keeps me from breaking down

[waistcoat]

whenever i start having a panic attack the only thing that has managed to ground me out of one is knowing that i will soon be dead and that the suffering will be over. i feel so broken for thinking that way. i know its not right to think that way. the world will be better without me.

 

[somewhatdeadly]

Just thinking is never enough.

 

[monetpompo]

i laid in bed today for hours today and the only thing that could relax me was thinking about dying. and then i woke up after sleeping for almost 5 hours. death is the most soothing thing to think about. i have a planned ctb date and nothing else to look forward to. my life's going nowhere. i wish it was as easy to die as it is in a movie.