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Avril

Avril

Unlovable.
Aug 8, 2020
543
Sometimes, when I go up a height. Like tall buildings, fire escapes, balconies, I feel a surge of being alive. The numbness dissipates for a moment. I hate coming down though, because then it's back to black.

The same as swimming in deep waters.

Or lighting up fireworks, well you get the idea.
 
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apearl

apearl

mitski fan
Sep 25, 2023
172
I get you, sometimes I like to go ontop parking garages at night just to sit on the ledge and look down the 5+ stories. I get the same feeling with cutting but summer is coming and its way to hot here to cover up scars so I'll have to wait till cold again.

For a better coping mechanism to feel alive though, scary movies/media sometimes do the trick. I know jumpscare movies are not the best cinematically but they can scratch that itch of feeling alive for me.
 
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