Just when I think things can't get worse, another terrible thing happens. Life just keeps proving to me over and over again that life can get worse, but it never shows me that it can get better like so many people keep telling me it will. I just cannot handle more terrible things happening. I just don't want to live anymore. The thought of having to keep doing all of these things to function in life and survive, I just do not have the motivation or energy for any of it. I don't want to do any of it. Everything seems truly so fucking pointless. What is the fucking point when everything feels so fucking miserable? What is the fucking point when life also felt so fucking miserable even when terrible things weren't currently happening in my life? What is the fucking point? I just don't want to fucking live!!! Why am I being kept alive and miserable out of my mind against my will?
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FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 43,705
I really understand, it's just so dreadful and cruel to me how there's all this suffering in existing with no limit as to how much one can suffer, I also just wish to be free from it all, all I want is to never suffer in this torturous, futile existence ever again, I also see no point to any of this, it's all just suffering all for the sake of it.
I'm sorry to hear you relate so much to how I've been feeling. It really is such an awful feeling. I wish there was an escape to all of this pain and suffering that was reliable, but there is no suicide method that absolutely guarantees death (except for maybe physician assisted death), there are always exceptions which is terrifying to me. I'm truly trapped in this existence unless I somehow get a miracle and finally get the courage, motivation, and willpower to finally attempt again and actually die from it or what I would prefer is that I get a terminal illness or die in an accident. I'm so exhausted. Sorry this is mostly just more venting.
