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LostLily

LostLily

Why do I exist?
Nov 18, 2024
755
The worst part of being caught planning your departure (besides living) is that you must constantly explain your actions and what drove them. Had to speak to the cops, the nurse triage the crisis center, the physician assistant at the same crisis center, the psychiatrist at the hospital, my parents, friends and now my family doctor found out and wants to speak to me. I wish that I could wipe everyone's memories.

Not only am I stuck in this prison, but I broke everyone's image of me as a put-together person and see me as the truly vulnerable and broken individual.

How did other people react when they found out about your suicidal tendencies?
 
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catfriend

catfriend

meow!
Apr 3, 2025
204
sorry to hear -- that sounds like hell. do you think people are treating you differently, now?

if i may ask, also, how were you found out? i've not had this experience (people tend to hear about my suicidal tendencies after the fact, if at all) and it's one i am keen to avoid if at all possible.
 
LostLily

LostLily

Why do I exist?
Nov 18, 2024
755
damn how'd they catch you?
Both SN packages from DMC got confiscated, and then I got visited by a cop and crisis worker.
parents witness me getting dragged away by the cops. And I had to tell friends because I was still stuck in the hospital and the only way they would let me out for my friend's birthday party is if one of my friends picked me up and accompanied me to the party.
 
gottacheckout

gottacheckout

Specialist
May 20, 2025
346
Damn, that really sucks. I've had to tip toe around my suicidal tendencies since I was a kid. Learned at a young age to tell others what they want to hear.
 
LostLily

LostLily

Why do I exist?
Nov 18, 2024
755
Damn, that really sucks. I've had to tip toe around my suicidal tendencies since I was a kid. Learned at a young age to tell others what they want to hear.
Me too, which is why everyone was shocked because I'm good at hiding my emotions. Even at the hospital, 4 different patients told me that they were surprised I was a patient because it looked like I was always in a good mood.

I replied, "the fact that I'm a patient proves that I'm not always in a good mood...generally they don't do wellness check on people like that".
 
gottacheckout

gottacheckout

Specialist
May 20, 2025
346
Just shows how screwed up the world is. You didn't break any laws and yet you get visits and ended up in a crisis center. I'm really sorry this happened to you
 
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kotonearisato

kotonearisato

memento mori
Feb 13, 2024
119
Ugh, I'm so sorry that happened. Not only is it exhausting, it's invasive, from so many angles... hopefully as some time passes it will fade from the forefront for them, and you won't have to be scrutinized so heavily.

As for your question, the first time I was found out by my parents it was a shitshow. It was actually days after an attempt when I was like thirteen, and my father took me to the hospital to check for any damage (I'd attempted to OD on like, ibuprofen because I was thirteen and stupid). The hospital ended up putting me in an involuntary hold for three days despite me no longer being in crisis, so thankfully I was let out at the end of the three days. But not so great was when they accidentally outed me by putting a boy from my class who bullied me terribly in the same group! They switched him out later that day to somewhere else so they knew they fucked up but man was that uncomfortable. And possibly illegal, I'm still not really sure on that.
 
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