Story The suicidal goat and her thoughts.

[LadyAlastor]

Sitting upon the mountain is a Nubian female goat she's 30 and has struggled with suicide for many years and it only gets worse she pushes people away because she feels she's no good,that nothing will matter, that the universe won't notice that she's gone.

These are her thoughts.

"I died three times on an operating table, and was able to live the towel about it, people tell me I should be grateful that I am alive and kicking and so healthy. But the truth is I'm not, my life has been a complete and total s*** show, I've tried so hard to make it better and sometimes it did get better but then it got worse, I grabbed the razor I cut my wrists I watched the blood drip praying for a miracle that would bleed out and relax so I can sleep, because sleep is the only real peace I have".


"I looked down at the road below my hooves, I figure with all the traffic it should be fast enough and it'll be quick, I can't too risky might live through it too easy"

"These four walls, they're the only thing that can give me a mix of Peace but at the same time so much suffering I sit here in a corner listening to my music and with every sad track that goes on it urges me to go into the closet and kick the chair with the rope around my neck, the feeling is overwhelming tears are running down my face why does this happen? Every single time this happens"

"I have bad luck when it comes to death, like on the biggest joke because every single time I try something stops it,I scream and I cry and I beat my head against the wall making the horns connected drip of blood screaming at the top of my lungs JUST LET ME DIE!!!!!!"

So now I sit here at 11:53 at night, waiting for the stroke of midnight so I just continue my shift at work, as a cycle continues..... I don't know if it's going to break, I just want it to end, this pain is unbearable... so why do people like us have to continue to sit here and suffer with it? why do the people who don't want death receive it and those who do want death are laughed at in the face? What did we do to deserve this? Don't we too deserve deaths warm embrace?
I guess I won't know until it happens"

Have a smoke with me won't you readers?

 

[Midgardsorm]

I'll pass the cigarettes. I have breathing issues.

Your thoughts are very similar to mine. I don't know what lead into the shroud of darkness, but I know it all too well.

The pain inside, the constant gaslight of people, the sad songs, the urge to die and then you're interrupted, "saved" at the last moment.
Only to re-live everything over and over again. As if the universe needs you alive to be tortured. Sad but not dead.

There are people lucky to be alive. It's not us, not on this day.
I hope it gets better for you tomorrow.

Be well, as well you can be.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand how she feels. All I want is to be free from this world but it really is difficult to exit it. If it was easier I would already be gone. I understand it is hard to carry on when you are suffering. Living really is painful.