I hear a lot that people who were depressed suddenly cheering up is a sign of being suicidal. However, this is not the case for me. Personally, I am getting worse and worse regardless of whether I am actively planning or not. I think I have always had a weak willpower and so knowing that I'm going to do it or not do it both make miserable. It truly is the worst timeline (for me specifically).
nattanatta
Member
- Aug 13, 2024
- 35
It's the same for me. More suicidal than ever, closer to death than ever, and worse than ever. I wonder if setting up a date for CTB and/or getting closer to it would finally bring me peace and a sense of calmness as well as get me to cheer up.
I think it's often when they have everything prepared and have a date in mind for their departure. Presumably that they feel confident that it will work too. It makes sense to me that someone suffering would actually feel happier knowing their suffering was nearing its end.
I guess it's different for everyone. I have no idea how I'll feel. A whole mixture of things I suspect. Mostly fear most probably. Still, I'm not even 100% convinced I have the guts to do it, although, I hope so.
I guess it's different for everyone. I have no idea how I'll feel. A whole mixture of things I suspect. Mostly fear most probably. Still, I'm not even 100% convinced I have the guts to do it, although, I hope so.
I totally get why they would feel better. I think sometimes I do and other times I don't and that I am sort of generalizing my experience somewhat. There is relief but also fear, mourning, nostalgia, guilt, etc.
Yeah, I've sort of decided on a general time period that I want to do it and I'm crossing my fingers so hard that I don't back out. I just want out.
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