the nature of problematic human beings and being human

[Surai]

Everyday it is like I am rolling the dice for what experiences with people I reap and all it takes is one bad one to ruin the hand. I hate people and what they do to my psyche. I used to ignore it for the longest as a sort of defence mechnism. To convince myself or the body just convinces itself, because you are them and we are us. But I realise and keep on realising that I cant ignore that I dont hate life, but hate "human" life. This world could have been a heaven but there are too many bad apples that ruin the batch. And trust me it only takes one. To spread and ruin the others along with it. I can teeter along the line of peace until a creature disturbes us. one bad minute can ruin a whole day. Being human makes me depressed. Knowing the horrible people that exist and will continue to exist that ruin what "was" peaceful lives makes me depressed. "Well get over it. Im going to die arent I, Ill be over with it anyway. I wouldnt want to be in this state forever.

 

[notreallybored]

ב''ה,
Well said.

Fuck it, this world hardly seems real but for philosophy's sake, did you have a relatively isolated upbringing/family weren't gregariously social?

Around all the weird shit in the world.. sometimes before the weird shit I do ponder if people who were sketchy on "being social" with a network of, let's say 20+ friends and acquaintances "IRL" chose the suburban or more isolated lifestyles that resulted in a 'village' of ≤5 folks seen growing up, and whether that makes any of this 'one bad apple' crap hit worse for not being acculturated to shrugging it off earlier in life.

But lots of nature vs. nurture to that plus all the wacky hand of G-d stuff. I used to be more prone to actually believing my sociological theories, these days I'm just wondering.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm lucky enough to work alone and live alone and I really dread that one day, I might have to rejoin the world.

I'm not sure it is that there are lots of bad people. More that I'm crap at coping with criticism and judgement. Even when it's constructive. Even if they don't say anything, it's simply that feeling of being inadequate around them.

But, it also doesn't seem worth the risk of having a nicer interaction with someone if you may well get the opposite.

 

[58Alice85]

I feel like my entire life I have been sabotaged by other people and I can only kill myself now