Venting The mere thought of staying alive disgusts me

[Saki]

Just the thought of going threw new experiences disgust me. So far I haven't made any good ones and nowadays things don't get better, but worse. Staying alive alone makes me anxious and more subjected for abuse and ostracisation. There is no way around it. I always have been treated that way. I don't possess the necessary skills to stay alive or adapt. I am already mentally crippled. What else do people want from me? I was never given a chance to develop properly mentally. I can't even correct it with therapy, bc I don't get any. Everything is not available.

So I am sitting here asking myself.
How funking cruel is it when ppl are forced to stay alive, but not even given the nesscessary resources to recover or adapt? All most likely people will make fun of my flaws.
Like at least let me go and don't torture me more then needed.

 

[BringMeToLife]

I can relate with you. I have tried many things to improve my condition, but what if I have no future? I just don't have what it takes to survive. Now that things in my life are getting complicated again, all I want is to CTB, but I don't have the right circumstances to do it. When I tell myself that I need to live for a little longer so I don't do something out of desperation, I feel pretty much uncomfortable. I'm just so sick and tired of everything that's happening to me. Let me go, why watch me and keep me alive?

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing is also something repulsive to me, it truly is horrible the thought of potentially being trapped here for decades on end, as life is nothing more than worthless and unnecessary suffering. It disgusts me how people wish to make existence into a prison by denying those people a right to die and forcing them to suffer, existing truly is a punishment, as humans we deserve the option to exit this world in peace.

 

[SilentSadness]

Thinking of the future also fills me with disgust, as I know there will be suffering far greater than anything I've ever experienced and I will be unable to die for a long time I'm sure. It's dreadful to know that most people want suicidal people locked up and abused in psych wards and is a really devastating look on humanity. The truth is that humans just don't care about others and are willing to do anything to keep their world view intact. I hope you aren't kept in this repulsive state of being forced to live and given no help for much longer.

 

[OceanBlue]

The truth is that humans just don't care about others and are willing to do anything to keep their world view intact.

This is exactly why the right to die is not recognised.
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It's a survival game and others aren't overly concerned with yours. If they accept that death can be a rational choice, then they can't maintain the illusion that this world is objectively beautiful and always a gift to their children. People are very protective when it comes to their delusions.