the longest you planned?

[HopeNotLong]

What's the longest time you've planned (or seen someone plan) CTB before actually going through with it?

I can't seem to put myself first and go now, so I thought maybe I could give it at most 2 years to create a manageable situation for my mom(financially). But I just feel like it's going to be like a failed attempt just adding time and trauma to my life, and maybe even failing at that time too.

Im trusting the ligature strangulation for the method at the final day and if that doesn't work, i will have to go for suspension... I get a lot of time for myself so ...(trusting Sasu's methods, have 2 failed attempts in my history (poisoning and OD)), but the time thing...

Has anyone you know postponed it for a long time and then followed through? Or have you planned it long in advance and not gone through with it?

I'm scared I might betray myself again, and I don't even know how I'll bear those years.
Sorry if my English isn't very good.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Myself in terms of ideation. Or, being passively suicidal I guess. I've had the thoughts for 35 years- since I was 10. I settled on SN as my method and acquired it not too long after I joined, around 3 years ago. I'm still waiting for my Dad to go first but truthfully, it's getting harder and harder to hang on. I know what you mean though. I fear that- even when I feel more free to go ahead with it, fear may still hold me back.

 

[tend a dead garden]

Have been planning to CTB seriously for around five years as in donated body to science, have will sorted, advance directives on medical notes etc.
But i have had SI for around 30 plus years to varying degrees. I would self harm as what i termed "practice runs" as i my old plan would involve longitudinal cutting of the wrist. However, my plan is alot different now and has multiple ways mixed into one to ensure that it will be successful.
I'm not sure when i will CTB but having a set , well thought out plan is akin to an existential escape route, when you get on a plane they go through the "exit strategies" in case of an emergency , so a good plan is just having a well thought out exit strategy.
I've seen people CTB after a few years and some within a month or so, but in the latter it could have been self harm accidentally taken too far.
Plan, plan then plan some more, as if certain you don't want to be found alive and taken into psych care or have hassles with the police etc . A well thought out plan will reduce or remove the chances of it not working and being found alive, or not having to have that awful feeling of waking up after an unsuccessful attempt.

 

[Permanoir]

I've set dates that were several months away, and honestly it backfired. The distance gave me time to slip back into living normally instead of actually preparing. When the date came, I hadn't rehearsed enough, I hadn't worked through the hardest parts like facing the irreversibility, and I wasn't ready. Looking back, it would've made more sense to give myself a shorter window, and instead of one fixed date, think in terms of a rough timeframe (like a couple of weeks). That way, if conditions weren't right, I could shift slightly without feeling like I had 'betrayed myself.'

 

[HopeNotLong]

Have been planning to CTB seriously for around five years as in donated body to science, have will sorted, advance directives on medical notes etc.
But i have had SI for around 30 plus years to varying degrees. I would self harm as what i termed "practice runs" as i my old plan would involve longitudinal cutting of the wrist. However, my plan is alot different now and has multiple ways mixed into one to ensure that it will be successful.
I'm not sure when i will CTB but having a set , well thought out plan is akin to an existential escape route, when you get on a plane they go through the "exit strategies" in case of an emergency , so a good plan is just having a well thought out exit strategy.
I've seen people CTB after a few years and some within a month or so, but in the latter it could have been self harm accidentally taken too far.
Plan, plan then plan some more, as if certain you don't want to be found alive and taken into psych care or have hassles with the police etc . A well thought out plan will reduce or remove the chances of it not working and being found alive, or not having to have that awful feeling of waking up after an unsuccessful attempt.

planning does help make your exit plan more certain, but the time in between gives you room to contemplate and fool yourself. you might plan to stay for just 2 years, and suddenly you're here for 4, adding even more misery. I'm staying to achieve something, but even that feels like my mind is fooling me into staying.

 

[kagebunshin]

Last year I planned for three months and it went perfectly. I never once doubted myself. Got all my affairs in order, came to terms with the method and death generally. Only hitch in my plan was that I survived (entirely against my will, I stabbed myself but my body didn't die).

This time I've been in the headspace for a looong time but had an actual action plan for a couple weeks. Let's see how it turns out...