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Schaf

Schaf

Member
Oct 6, 2021
21
I wanted to make a big post, tell my story, but I don't have enough time.

I just want to tell what I'm taking and how I am taking, since I'm a benzo addict.

Unfortunately there is a chance to be found, this goes against any advices, but I have no money for going to a hotel, also, I'm known for my suicidal attempts by many people, that would cause even more fuss and alarm.

What I need to tell is this:

- fasting is easy for me, I have ED, my last meal was a 60 calories cereal bar, at the time of CTB, it will be 14 hours since last meal
- Chlorpromazine:
it is both an AE and also sleep inducing, for those who are benzo addicts it might work better. My body couldn't stand the Metoclopramide, I passed out before even taking the SN first time I tried. But this one I mentioned, I have bad insomnia, might be the one since it works both ways. So NO metoclopramide: chlorpromazine, whole bottle 30 minutes before. (I'm afraid of being caught, otherwise I would wait 1 hour, which is the time to induce sleep - even though i dont sleep...)
- and here goes where I'm stupid: I don't have a good way to know how many SN I'm putting in the cup, so yup, I'll know just by my cooking skills tell what 20g might somehow looks like. 3 cups gonna be prepared
- going to use a straw, hopefully I can stand the saltyness bc even salty food is hard for me to eat. But I'll do my best lol
- then I'll eat for about 90 xanax, hence, this is just because of the thread, 90 xanax is not enough to kick me down. Don't get addicted kids, tolerance is sheiße. (It doesn't really matter which benzo you use if you're an addict with high tolerance, just clarifying, you will have tolerance for all of them, there's no "right benzo" for addicts in this case)
- if I fail because of vomit it will be most likely SN is not a good method for me because of my stomach issues (can't process food properly)

I still have a few hours left and I'll just live like nothing is going to happen. Play Persona 3, these stuff. I'll check now and then this thread.

If I don't get back in about 1 or 2 months it's because I had been successful. I was committed in the psych ward once so I imagine if I survive the hospital + ward will take a few weeks. But if I survive I'll let u guys know. :)

If I just keep talking today or tomorrow it's because I will try another day since it's my choice. I'll keep the post to help benzo addicts though (just please mods don't delete my account haha)

Also: fuck you BBC
 
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heisenberg

heisenberg

zzzzzzz
May 18, 2020
220
best wishes, i hope you're able to succeed and find the peace you deserve whenever you decide the time is right
 
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Dliena

Dliena

𝚂𝚂 𝙼𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝙽𝚘. 43,53?
Dec 22, 2023
1,888
I hope you manage to get eternal peace sooner or later from this cruel place OP. Good luck and goodbye.
 
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eashanm

God
Feb 22, 2023
512
Good Luck in your endeavor.
 
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D

Deleted member 65988

Guest
All the best with this but wow, 90 Xanax is a lot, glad my tolerance is still really low.
if I fail because of vomit it will be most likely SN is not a good method for me because of my stomach issues (can't process food properly)
I'm not sure how this will go because of this issue you have but nevertheless, I hope you find peace.
 
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Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
13,027
Good luck! I hope you find peace!
 
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Tesha

Tesha

Life too shall pass
May 31, 2020
914
I hope you find peace and freedom from your addiction.

I also hope this isn't a rushed decision because of the BBC.
 
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Tears in Rain

Tears in Rain

..............
Dec 12, 2023
858
All the best, go in peace!
 
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The Schizoid

The Schizoid

Specialist
Oct 24, 2023
306
IMO SN is not a good option for anyone who really doesn't know EXACTLY what they're doing.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
45,166
I wish you the best of luck in your plans.
 
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SVEN

SVEN

I Wish I'd Been a Jester Too.
Apr 3, 2023
2,808
Every good wish for finding rest and peace.
 
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FrozenPond

FrozenPond

Member
Mar 1, 2024
18
Highly recommend finding a scale to weigh it.
 
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R

rozeske

Maybe I am the problem
Dec 2, 2023
4,083
Wish you all the best in your plans. If you haven't already gone through with it, I want to point out SN usually doesn't allow for a margin of error out of the guide.
 
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Kurai

Kurai

Suffering
Jul 23, 2023
241
Good luck with your plans! Hope you find peace 💜
 
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Schaf

Schaf

Member
Oct 6, 2021
21
Quick update:

I'm still here. It wasn't worth the risk for now, so:

All the best with this but wow, 90 Xanax is a lot, glad my tolerance is still really low.
I wasn't very specific but it is actually 180mg, 90pills. It is a lot indeed, and I am not willing of wasting my stash..... more than the SN itself...

I also hope this isn't a rushed decision because of the BBC.
I do believe it is going to be harder and harder to get SN, but I wouldn't rush my decision just because of BBC. Specially because mine's sealed, I'll keep it sealed until the day comes.

Highly recommend finding a scale to weigh it.
Yeah I thought about that as well which added as to why I've made the decision to let it for another day

Wish you all the best in your plans. If you haven't already gone through with it, I want to point out SN usually doesn't allow for a margin of error out of the guide.
Margin of error you mean me changing which AE to use or not having a scale?



So just to point out, it wasn't worth the risk:
I could get caught
Not having the scale with me at the moment
I could lose a lot of xanax I'm not really willing to LOL
If I failed, the SN bottle would go to waste too. And well they don't talk about SN where I live... for now

I do not plan to change the AE when the time comes, though.

What I plan to change:
1. The place, be sure to not be caught
2. Having my scale with me for fucks sake

About my stomach being able to handle SN or not I guess it's still a gamble.

I'm okay with dying whenever as long as it comes from my own decision. So I'm okay with not being today.
 
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YosemiteGrrl

When will courage be mine
Dec 17, 2023
217
Wish you all the best in your plans. If you haven't already gone through with it, I want to point out SN usually doesn't allow for a margin of error out of the guide.
Which guide are you specifically referring to?
 

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