overthis4good
Member
- Apr 4, 2020
- 6
Hi, I will be turning 30 in a few months and have always been suicidal. My mental health has continued to decline every year and I've had enough. I do not see the point in moving forward and just want a peaceful way out. I hate my life and have only made it this far because of my parents. I tried so hard to give myself a chance but I truly don't believe I was meant to exist. I have dealt with PTSD, OCD, Body Dysmorphia, Depression and most recently Bipolar Disorder. My psychiatrist told me he cannot guarantee I will every get better and it is possible my health with continue to get worse in my 30's. I tell my parents every day that they are the ones I blame and it's extremely unfair that I am here. My dad has dealt with depression and tells me I will move past this. What he doesn't see is that I neither care, nor want any of the things a 29 years old woman aspires to have in life. I do not want to get married, have a family or career. Nothing brings me joy and I don't understand why I'm expected to continue living in a world I despise.I feel trapped in my body and want out. Any advice on mixing benzo, lamotrogine , hydrocodone and alcohol would be greatly appreciated. Feel free to dm me or post here. Thank you so much.
