Venting Take me out

[Suizid]

Can't stand working a job but also hate being unemployed. Can't be alone, but hate how i feel when i'm around others. Fuck.

I know deep down that by CTB i'm actually doing myself a favor. I Feel like i'm paralyzed, as if i'm in a wheelchair, not able to live life freely. Just existing. I try to change my Situation but i'm already 28 and although i did so much i'm still at the same Spot. It's gotten even worse.

I had no job, was in rehabilitation for panic attacks and a suicide attempt. Now i have a job, earn good money but i still want to die everyday. I had no friends and was lonely, but when i did find friends it was too overwhelming for me and i isolated myself to the point where i'm friendless again.

I feel like if god exists, he hates me and wants me to suffer until i go crazy for his entertainment or sum.

 

[LighthouseHermit]

I feel like if god exists, he hates me and wants me to suffer until i go crazy for his entertainment or sum.

Yeah, I feel the same a lot. So sorry you feel that way. It sucks

 

[unluckysadness]

Yeah, I feel the same a lot. So sorry you feel that way. It sucks

Same. I'm in constant anxiety / stress / pain 24/7. I just want peace and physical & emotional relief.
I believe in karma, and I wonder if I wasn't a nazi in a previous life to deserve all this shit...

 

[LighthouseHermit]

I believe in karma, and I wonder if I wasn't a nazi in a previous life to deserve all this shit...

Yeah, I often think that too. If so, it's incredibly unfair punishing someone for something they have no memory of. At the same time, what is more cruel than that?

 

[unluckysadness]

Yeah, I often think that too. If so, it's incredibly unfair punishing someone for something they have no memory of. At the same time, what is more cruel than that?

the worst thing is that I ask for forgiveness if I was really a nazi in a past life... but the universe seems to not care because things are getting worse...