AnimeSlayersFan
Student
- Jul 18, 2025
- 118
Heyyyy, I wondered for a long time thinking there was something wrong with me, which caused me a bunch of shitty feelings of self worth and rumiating thoughts.
I was recently diagnosed with Autism, and to my surprise, ADHD.
Today I first tried Modafinil, with mixed results, during the morning like 4 hours, I could do chores! That shit that's usually super hard and tiring for me to do, it just worked!
I noticed how much I struggled to switch from task to task beforehand... Crazy. But hey, it was there!
I could tune out negative sensitivity things more easily too, I couldn't believe the difference between the before and after.
Like, really? Can you tune out stimuli like this? No fucking wonder why I got so overwhelmed by my autism, I thought that I should feel everything and everyone felt things the same way!
Nope, there seems to be some medications that MAYBE help, and they don't have the sexual side effects that antidepressants have, and SHIT, I was about to be prescribed an antidepressant, and I wasn´t! Fuck, that was a huuuge win. I'm both hopeful and angry about how treatment usually treats neurodivergent people like depressed fuckers with no real issue other than "having the blues"
If this continues well for a few days more, I will have more confirmation of this, I had to fight quite a lot and get a bit lucky to get prescribed this, because I didn't even know I had ADHD, like I felt anxious, so I just said "anxious" or "depressed" and basically, what was happening was:
Anxious---> Actually having a 24/7 dialog going on inside your head is not anxiety, but ADHD (at least in my case)
Depressed---> The constant inability to socialize cause you are anxious due to past social mistakes plus being unable to filter your sensory environment makes you actually anxious, and then you can't socialize well, get negative feedback, which you are reaaaaaallly sensitive to, and it gives you a little dent. Repeat for 15+ years (when I was a kid I didn't know wtf was going on)
You start out weird but fine enough
But
You end up like a banged up trash can with learnt helplessness
I just gotta say, that MAYBE if you truly "know yourself" and then get the right meds, MAYBE you can be fine.
I will be updating shortly.
Who knows what the future holds? My rope is always in my closet, but I'm glad I've waited, I don't have a clue about tomorrow, but RIGHT NOW, I'm glad I've waited a bit.
I was recently diagnosed with Autism, and to my surprise, ADHD.
Today I first tried Modafinil, with mixed results, during the morning like 4 hours, I could do chores! That shit that's usually super hard and tiring for me to do, it just worked!
I noticed how much I struggled to switch from task to task beforehand... Crazy. But hey, it was there!
I could tune out negative sensitivity things more easily too, I couldn't believe the difference between the before and after.
Like, really? Can you tune out stimuli like this? No fucking wonder why I got so overwhelmed by my autism, I thought that I should feel everything and everyone felt things the same way!
Nope, there seems to be some medications that MAYBE help, and they don't have the sexual side effects that antidepressants have, and SHIT, I was about to be prescribed an antidepressant, and I wasn´t! Fuck, that was a huuuge win. I'm both hopeful and angry about how treatment usually treats neurodivergent people like depressed fuckers with no real issue other than "having the blues"
If this continues well for a few days more, I will have more confirmation of this, I had to fight quite a lot and get a bit lucky to get prescribed this, because I didn't even know I had ADHD, like I felt anxious, so I just said "anxious" or "depressed" and basically, what was happening was:
Anxious---> Actually having a 24/7 dialog going on inside your head is not anxiety, but ADHD (at least in my case)
Depressed---> The constant inability to socialize cause you are anxious due to past social mistakes plus being unable to filter your sensory environment makes you actually anxious, and then you can't socialize well, get negative feedback, which you are reaaaaaallly sensitive to, and it gives you a little dent. Repeat for 15+ years (when I was a kid I didn't know wtf was going on)
You start out weird but fine enough
But
You end up like a banged up trash can with learnt helplessness
I just gotta say, that MAYBE if you truly "know yourself" and then get the right meds, MAYBE you can be fine.
I will be updating shortly.
Who knows what the future holds? My rope is always in my closet, but I'm glad I've waited, I don't have a clue about tomorrow, but RIGHT NOW, I'm glad I've waited a bit.
