I wake up every single day wishing that I could just die and, I regret not doing so last year. I will be gone very soon but it's just a matter of time & getting the funds. Living is expensive & dying is aswell, I'm trying to decide on whether or not to blow my brains out or decapitate myself under the rails of a train. I'm thinking of going somewhere very far so that my family can't find me, I'm at a point where I no longer care about my family or friends, I don't care about how they feel and I don't care if they feel hurt after my death. It was BOUND to happen and it's going to happen very soon, I hope. I can't wait to leave this fucking world. I genuinely don't even feel like a person anymore, I feel like I have died a very long time ago and what's left of me now is the past remnants of who I used to be. No one understands or knows how badly I want to die, no one understands the heaviness I feel everyday. This isn't even living, it's pure survival. I'm sick of it.
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