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canoekit

canoekit

Member
Jan 9, 2026
23
I've been weighing the pros and cons of leaving anything behind following my suicide. At first, I did consider scheduling a text message to some friends, leaving a physical letter for my family and an ex friend, and also going to this ex friend's family whilst he's in another city to leave them with a birthday gift for him (since he is turning 20 in February, I feel as though I owe him something as he travelled abroad to celebrate my 18th birthday last year). However, the more sentimental things I want to leave behind, the more I worry that I'm causing pain and guilt, and burdening others in general. I also run into a problem of being unsure what to actually include in letters. I'm worried my words still won't mean anything to anyone, even when I'm dead.

I've seen different takes on suicide notes on other internet sources, and also depicted in media. Some say they wish the person who has died left a note so they can attempt to understand why, or at least if there was anything they could've done differently that would have stopped the person from dying in the first place. Others say notes leave more pain and guilt than absolve it, they never read those notes or even throw them away. In media, it's romanticised, I know, but usually people cling onto those last few things left behind as if it means the world to them.

I guess I'm just wondering what others here think of leaving notes, belongings etc. and whether others see them in a more positive or negative light.
 
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Abandoned Phantom

Abandoned Phantom

Member
Oct 3, 2025
87
I see leaving notes as being beneficial. Those who read it, probably won't truly understand. But if theres a possibility that maybe it helps just 1%, That's enough reason for me to leave one. The one I wrote, I explained as best I could, why I did what I did. I repeated that it wasn't their fault. That theres nothing they could have done. I don't know if it would have made any difference, but maybe it would have. If you leave a note, they can always choose to not read it, or throw it away. or in ten years, they can read it. I didn't want to leave them, and have them wishing for one, and wondering why. It felt better, for me, to give them something.
 
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godforbidpain

godforbidpain

dead genderless thing
Aug 31, 2024
28
i've had the same troubling feelings. i really don't want to burden anyone, but i also know people are curious and would maybe want to know why... its definately a hard decision to make
 

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