Suicide from the perspective of those left alive?

[lotus11]

Has anyone here ever experienced their child or brother or sister commiting suicide? The only reason I haven't killed myself is so as not so hurt my parents or my brother.

I am wondering about what the experience would be like from the perspective of anyone who has experienced that. What was it like for you? Can you understand/ forgive? What was the pain like?

 

[Tautochrome]

I never had a family member commit, but I witnessed my mother attempting. She overdosed some meds, got moved to the hospital and recovered. I only remember feeling awkward, wondering about the reasons and not understanding why she'd do that in a house full of people. Somehow that event gave me closure when she eventually did die (of a different cause), a few years later. I knew she wanted to, I knew she was unhappy, so I didn't see it as a tragedy.

 

[ummagumma]

bump
its very interesting and i would like to hear something from the parents of ctbted child...

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideBereavement/

But these are mostly non suicidal people who lost someone to suicide.

I didn't lose someone personally to suicide in the last years (but I had one in my family and I didn't really feel anything besides being happy that they are at peace) but if I'd lose someone now, I'd be happy they are at peace.

just think about it, lol, the performative society that we live in, the fake help that we get, nah. I would be happy they managed to pass on.

And I would 100% prefer a society where people would just be honest 'bout the fact that they don't care and legalize euthanasia. (they would legalize it because being honest that they don't care would just get them people who have nothing to lose angry and they wouldn't like that.)

 

[U. A.]

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[overmorrow]

very confusing

 

[TwoQuarks]

I would like to see more comments

 

[COP2CON]

I had to serve death notices to loved ones. I learned to have EMS waiting in the street because everyone was destroyed. Some had cardiac issues, most shock. I never had one where they didn't care. It was horrible if I'm to be honest.

 

[Tarantula]

Not a relative, but I did have a friend of mine kill himself less than a month ago. He messaged me the night that he chose to take his life, we talked while he was actively dying (which was honestly really traumatizing for me) and I clung onto the hope that maybe he did survive, but then I found out about his obituary that released a few days after he took his life.

During the first week I was struggling alot, it was incredibly difficult to take care of myself, and I would toss and turn in my sleep at night. It was so hard to distract myself because all I could think about was my grief and the guilt that I felt. I feel a bit better now but I'm still struggling, this is the first time I've ever experienced grief like this so I honestly don't know how to cope. During the first 2 weeks I was very visibly tense and awkward, interacting with people was very hard and I also became alot more emotional and erratic.

It's a really unique and profound form of grief because it causes you to blame yourself and wonder what you could've done better. It especially hurts since we both related to eachother since we both struggled with suicidal ideation.

I've been suicidal for half of my life, and I have also attempted suicide before, I actually attempted to OD less than a month before he died so I understand why he did it, and I would never be upset with him for doing this, but I am incredibly upset about the fact that he died because I really enjoyed spending time with him and I think about him every day.

 

[Xiaojiu]

One of my uncles died by suicide 12+ years ago due to a work injury that left him with debilitating chronic pain in a wheelchair. I was sad at the beginning because he watched me when I was a kid and took care of me. But, after a while, I came to understand why he did it. Was never mad at him, just really sad that it ended that way for him because he was a kind, caring, and hardworking person

 

[INYGTRMTFMO]

My brother died by a fentanyl overdose that was likely somewhat suicidal in nature (important note: we were both adults at the time).

I was heartbroken, as I wanted him to overcome, to have the life he was working so hard for despite addiction due to horrific trauma, but I also *understood* why he did it. Life had not at all been kind to him.

 

[MidnightCat]

Has anyone here ever experienced their child or brother or sister commiting suicide? The only reason I haven't killed myself is so as not so hurt my parents or my brother.

I am wondering about what the experience would be like from the perspective of anyone who has experienced that. What was it like for you? Can you understand/ forgive? What was the pain like?

I'll start saying I have not experienced it myself.

But, most of us want to ctb to stop suffering.

And I strongly believe the suffering does not end with us... It just jumps to those close to us.


That's why I'm alive then when I don't want to be, I feel like it's my duty to resist as much as possible so I'm the only one mainly suffering.

 

[SomeAdvice]

I don't want to hurt the ones I love, but to be honest. I kind of makes me resent them. Like I want out and they are keeping me here. I some times dream of becoming this asshole that every one can't stand so that they might be glad I am dead, but being an ass hole just hurts them. So I keep living with hopes that the opportunity presents itself for an accidental death.

 

[the_seer]

cant bring myself to care about relatives because it won't really matter after i dont exist anymore....

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

cant bring myself to care about relatives because it won't really matter after i dont exist anymore....

Selfish, but yeah, I get it. I often have the same thought. Great album btw

 

[Blueberry Panic]

I've seen what it looks like first hand dealing with suicides work at a hospital... it's absolutely devastating to see a family try to grieve...

 

[TAW122]

https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideBereavement/

But these are mostly non suicidal people who lost someone to suicide.

I didn't lose someone personally to suicide in the last years (but I had one in my family and I didn't really feel anything besides being happy that they are at peace) but if I'd lose someone now, I'd be happy they are at peace.

just think about it, lol, the performative society that we live in, the fake help that we get, nah. I would be happy they managed to pass on.

And I would 100% prefer a society where people would just be honest 'bout the fact that they don't care and legalize euthanasia. (they would legalize it because being honest that they don't care would just get them people who have nothing to lose angry and they wouldn't like that.)

Really well said, and the third line made a lot of sense, especially with the 'society' that we live in. It is indeed very performative and very rarely have I ever (if I even do) experience any sincerity with the people I interact with. [Almost] Everyone claims that they care about people, but it's all just smokes and mirrors (maybe for their close ones behind closed doors but that's about it). All the more CTB fuel when I think of that.

Finally, yes I agree with the last sentence, it sums up how society is, and ironically, society (as a whole) is hypocritical in that scenario; they don't want people to die by their own hands (they do everything to prevent, frustrate, and impinge on it, even as far as temporarily locking and detaining suspected suicidal people up) yet they don't want to do what they can to make sentience so fruitful and pleasurable that people wouldn't want to CTB to begin with. This also reminds me of one of EG's posts and responses about how pro-lifers are just worried about their own mortality and ultimately, it's the fact that they aren't comfortable with people making their own choices about their own individual life and death (which is really about controlling and regulating morality and ethics, through projection).

 

[Ligottian]

No quick, painless way to CTB.
Causing perhaps great trauma to any loved ones.

I'd say were are rather fucked.

 

[Dead_Rose]

Has anyone here ever experienced their child or brother or sister commiting suicide? The only reason I haven't killed myself is so as not so hurt my parents or my brother.

I am wondering about what the experience would be like from the perspective of anyone who has experienced that. What was it like for you? Can you understand/ forgive? What was the pain like?

My Aunt killed herself a few months ago and it hurts more than I can describe. To picture her in that much pain. She was genuinely an amazing person and I miss her so much. I break down so extremely bad whenever it decides to shoves itself down my throat and create that bottomless pit in my stomach. It's the worst club to be apart of. The pain never goes away and in my experience just makes you want to join them. That's not the only reason why I'm about to CTB, but it weighs very heavy on that decision regardless of what I do. It continues to make you spiral.