Suicide attempt failed because of SI GOD FUCKING KILL ME.

[evey8112]

I posted yesterday i was going to drive to a 8 story parking garage and was going to jump off because well i fucking hate my life and have got myself so deep in a hole there is no way out. I woke up early this morning left around 7EST got to the parking garage parked on like the 3rd level spend 5 mins to write my suicide letter then got out and walked to the 8th floor Mind you its day light and there are cameras so if I'm going to do it it had be be right then. As soon as i looked down my mind went into complete shutdown and i knew i was not going to be able to do it. So i drove 45 mins for no reason. Pills it is then i thought i would be able to do it but im to weak for even that. I wish i had a fucking gun but i know how to get pills thank god. Can anyone else relate?

 

[theboy]

The classic SI
I dare to say that the SI is the reason why we are all still alive here.

 

[Idontmatter]

I posted yesterday i was going to drive to a 8 story parking garage and was going to jump off because well i fucking hate my life and have got myself so deep in a hole there is no way out. I woke up early this morning left around 7EST got to the parking garage parked on like the 3rd level spend 5 mins to write my suicide letter then got out and walked to the 8th floor Mind you its day light and there are cameras so if I'm going to do it it had be be right then. As soon as i looked down my mind went into complete shutdown and i knew i was not going to be able to do it. So i drove 45 mins for no reason. Pills it is then i thought i would be able to do it but im to weak for even that. I wish i had a fucking gun but i know how to get pills thank god. Can anyone else relate?

I can relate to failing because of si. I did the same thing with my sn attempt. IT's happened to many of us. I'm planning my next attempt and it's going to happen because all I want to do is die.

 

[eldiablo666]

I posted yesterday i was going to drive to a 8 story parking garage and was going to jump off because well i fucking hate my life and have got myself so deep in a hole there is no way out. I woke up early this morning left around 7EST got to the parking garage parked on like the 3rd level spend 5 mins to write my suicide letter then got out and walked to the 8th floor Mind you its day light and there are cameras so if I'm going to do it it had be be right then. As soon as i looked down my mind went into complete shutdown and i knew i was not going to be able to do it. So i drove 45 mins for no reason. Pills it is then i thought i would be able to do it but im to weak for even that. I wish i had a fucking gun but i know how to get pills thank god. Can anyone else relate?

Why not N?

 

[evey8112]

The classic SI
I dare to say that the SI is the reason why we are all still aliveI see

The classic SI
I dare to say that the SI is the reason why we are all still alive here.

I see why everyone goes for SN much easier.

Why not N?

Yea i see why everyone goes for N on here now. I am just going to do that i know for a fact it would be much easier for me to take a drink then jump like i tried to do today

 

[lifeisadream]

100% relate. I keep viewing photos of my chosen jump site in the hope to desensitise myself & knock the evil SI out my head well in advance.

 

[Felix007]

Shit man, sorry to hear that.. maybe going early in the morning is not a good idea? I myself get more depressed towards the end of the day.. so maybe go at night if you wanna jump? Anyway, good luck!

 

[FuneralCry]

I do fear jumping as a method. I would be scared of failure if I tried to jump. Maybe those who managed to go through with that method were really desperate, but I do envy their courage.

But the only reason as to why I'm still alive is because it's difficult to finally be free from this cruel existence. Leaving this world and escaping all suffering is the more rational option but of course even know we want to die, we are programmed to survive, your frustrations are understandable. It's almost like the SI is determined to prolong our misery. Limited access to methods is what keeps me here personally, I think that if I had N I would have no problems ctb.

 

[theboy]

I see why everyone goes for SN much easier.

I've seen a few threads of regret after taking SN.

 

[evey8112]

I've seen a few threads of regret after taking SN.

Yea i have too, personally for me though because i have OD before but was saved i know ill be able to do SN or pills.

 

[theboy]

Yea i have too, personally for me though because i have OD before but was saved i know ill be able to do SN or pills.

peace :)

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Hard to imagine anything more terrifying than jumping

 

[spectraltease]

I posted yesterday i was going to drive to a 8 story parking garage and was going to jump off because well i fucking hate my life and have got myself so deep in a hole there is no way out. I woke up early this morning left around 7EST got to the parking garage parked on like the 3rd level spend 5 mins to write my suicide letter then got out and walked to the 8th floor Mind you its day light and there are cameras so if I'm going to do it it had be be right then. As soon as i looked down my mind went into complete shutdown and i knew i was not going to be able to do it. So i drove 45 mins for no reason. Pills it is then i thought i would be able to do it but im to weak for even that. I wish i had a fucking gun but i know how to get pills thank god. Can anyone else relate?

My SI is not strong but I can relate. Maybe you should make yourself more mentally ready. Or maybe its just the wrong method, choose a method what you are confident with. Like I can't wait to do mine, theres so much excitement in me. I was often by the place where I will do it, im ready to die there. Maybe if you go there often, listening to music or just thinking helps to jump at the final day. But don't force yourself, its just a help.

Hard to imagine anything more terrifying than jumping

No, hanging is more terrifying. If you on a high building, its a instant death.

 

[Spidermanspiderpoo]

I posted yesterday i was going to drive to a 8 story parking garage and was going to jump off because well i fucking hate my life and have got myself so deep in a hole there is no way out. I woke up early this morning left around 7EST got to the parking garage parked on like the 3rd level spend 5 mins to write my suicide letter then got out and walked to the 8th floor Mind you its day light and there are cameras so if I'm going to do it it had be be right then. As soon as i looked down my mind went into complete shutdown and i knew i was not going to be able to do it. So i drove 45 mins for no reason. Pills it is then i thought i would be able to do it but im to weak for even that. I wish i had a fucking gun but i know how to get pills thank god. Can anyone else relate?

I'm sorry, I've been through the same thing. Made my SN drinks, was prepared. Looked into the glass and my mind went blank. I knew then I couldn't do it that day..

 

[Someone123]

My SI is not strong but I can relate. Maybe you should make yourself more mentally ready. Or maybe its just the wrong method, choose a method what you are confident with. Like I can't wait to do mine, theres so much excitement in me. I was often by the place where I will do it, im ready to die there. Maybe if you go there often, listening to music or just thinking helps to jump at the final day. But don't force yourself, its just a help.

No, hanging is more terrifying. If you on a high building, its a instant death.

If you are on a very high building it is instant death 99% of the time- the 1% is the scary part- a gust of wind blowing you back into the building, landing on someone and they break your fall, or some other freak way of surviving by landing just right- some people die falling from one story, one person survived jumping from 60 stories. 99% but not 100% is scary, because the 1% can be paralyzed or brain damaged or have other very serious damage.

 

[noalarms]

. As soon as i looked down my mind went into complete shutdown and i knew i was not going to be able to do it. So i drove 45 mins for no reason. Pills it is then

Were you sober at this point? I don't think you can overcome this kind of SI without alcohol.

 

[madebrief]

I've seen a few threads of regret after taking SN.

??

Have you seen threads of no regrets?

I posted yesterday i was going to drive to a 8 story parking garage and was going to jump off because well i fucking hate my life and have got myself so deep in a hole there is no way out. I woke up early this morning left around 7EST got to the parking garage parked on like the 3rd level spend 5 mins to write my suicide letter then got out and walked to the 8th floor Mind you its day light and there are cameras so if I'm going to do it it had be be right then. As soon as i looked down my mind went into complete shutdown and i knew i was not going to be able to do it. So i drove 45 mins for no reason. Pills it is then i thought i would be able to do it but im to weak for even that. I wish i had a fucking gun but i know how to get pills thank god. Can anyone else relate?

Pills are not the best of options. It was I first did and tried two more times after that before I found this site.
The success rate is extremely low, and it is a drawn out experience

 

[AliceTheGoon]

What happened to your M30s?

 

[evey8112]

What happened to your M30s?

The batch i got was not laced :( but i am trying another vendor.

Were you sober at this point? I don't think you can overcome this kind of SI without alcohol.

Yes 100% sober and SI was in full mode.

 

[spectraltease]

If you are on a very high building it is instant death 99% of the time- the 1% is the scary part- a gust of wind blowing you back into the building, landing on someone and they break your fall, or some other freak way of surviving by landing just right- some people die falling from one story, one person survived jumping from 60 stories. 99% but not 100% is scary, because the 1% can be paralyzed or brain damaged or have other very serious damage.

There is always some % who fail and survive. You just can plan it so good as you can, the rest is not in your hands. Do you know how many survive a train suicide attempt? I still do it, with a other and safer method. This thinking about will it work or not is just bothering me, I just do it. We will see.

 

[Someone123]

There is always some % who fail and survive. You just can plan it so good as you can, the rest is not in your hands. Do you know how many survive a train suicide attempt? I still do it, with a other and safer method. This thinking about will it work or not is just bothering me, I just do it. We will see.

I agree that jumping from a high enough height is a very good method if you are willing to take the risk- it's just worth discussing with any method- what is the % risk of failure and if it fails what happens. With train based on a lot of detailed posts from a treain driver, who saw 10 of 14 attempts fail over the years, train has maybe a 70% chance of working, and you may siurvivie with paralysis and a missing limb or two if it doesn't work, plus brain damage. WIth full suspension, if you are not interrupted, it is very close to 100%- but howq sure can a person be they will not be interrupted- being pulled down in the middle a person can be a vegetable. Let's say you try an inert gas method with a very good setup and no one to interrupt- this has a very high percentage chance of a very peaceful ctb, but this is difficult to set up- when this goes well it is so peaceful and so fast, maybe the best method, but there is a llot of work and some skill needed in setting up this method.

 

[spectraltease]

I agree that jumping from a high enough height is a very good method if you are willing to take the risk- it's just worth discussing with any method- what is the % risk of failure and if it fails what happens. With train based on a lot of detailed posts from a treain driver, who saw 10 of 14 attempts fail over the years, train has maybe a 70% chance of working, and you may siurvivie with paralysis and a missing limb or two if it doesn't work, plus brain damage. WIth full suspension, if you are not interrupted, it is very close to 100%- but howq sure can a person be they will not be interrupted- being pulled down in the middle a person can be a vegetable. Let's say you try an inert gas method with a very good setup and no one to interrupt- this has a very high percentage chance of a very peaceful ctb, but this is difficult to set up- when this goes well it is so peaceful and so fast, maybe the best method, but there is a llot of work and some skill needed in setting up this method.

Yes, because the most poeple jump in the front of a train and get then turned into a vegetable. My plan is to get beheaded by a train. The train can just hit my neck/head. The trains here drive 100 km/h easily, so it will crush me like nothing. The driver has no chance to react and do you think he can stop a 100 tons of train? I dont think so. Its painless too. My method is I would say 90% fatal. Watch my post on my profile, there I talk more about this method.

 

[lionetta12]

I posted yesterday i was going to drive to a 8 story parking garage and was going to jump off because well i fucking hate my life and have got myself so deep in a hole there is no way out. I woke up early this morning left around 7EST got to the parking garage parked on like the 3rd level spend 5 mins to write my suicide letter then got out and walked to the 8th floor Mind you its day light and there are cameras so if I'm going to do it it had be be right then. As soon as i looked down my mind went into complete shutdown and i knew i was not going to be able to do it. So i drove 45 mins for no reason. Pills it is then i thought i would be able to do it but im to weak for even that. I wish i had a fucking gun but i know how to get pills thank god. Can anyone else relate?

I'm not sure how people are able to jump. I'd love to if I could, I think I wouldn't be able to unless I was drunk or really really desperate and in intense distress.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

People who are able to jump really are a different breed. I'd have to be super drunk or something, and even then I doubt I could do it.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Although it's grizzly, gruesome, and horrific, at least to me it is, I think a shotgun in your mouth and blowing out the entire back of your head is about the only 100% effective method. I could never do it, though.

 

[hopelessgirl]

I posted yesterday i was going to drive to a 8 story parking garage and was going to jump off because well i fucking hate my life and have got myself so deep in a hole there is no way out. I woke up early this morning left around 7EST got to the parking garage parked on like the 3rd level spend 5 mins to write my suicide letter then got out and walked to the 8th floor Mind you its day light and there are cameras so if I'm going to do it it had be be right then. As soon as i looked down my mind went into complete shutdown and i knew i was not going to be able to do it. So i drove 45 mins for no reason. Pills it is then i thought i would be able to do it but im to weak for even that. I wish i had a fucking gun but i know how to get pills thank god. Can anyone else relate?

Can relate for sure. I have tried to drown myself, hang myself and thought about driving somewhere to jump. But SN it is for me. Of course I would prefer N but cannot get it here in Norway.

 

[👁️👃👁️]

The batch i got was not laced :( but i am trying another vendor.

Yes 100% sober and SI was in full mode.

The pills from the vendor you sent me were tested and they tested positive for fentanyl

 

[knowman]

Yes, because the most poeple jump in the front of a train and get then turned into a vegetable. My plan is to get beheaded by a train. The train can just hit my neck/head. The trains here drive 100 km/h easily, so it will crush me like nothing. The driver has no chance to react and do you think he can stop a 100 tons of train? I dont think so. Its painless too. My method is I would say 90% fatal. Watch my post on my profile, there I talk more about this method.

I am very interested in your method, as I've looked at a number of them since becoming a member (gun, SN, N Bag, etc.). If you are still around, please let me know if we can connect.
Thank you very much.

 

[june]

You wanted to jump?

 

[DEATH IS FREEDOM]

I have been in that situation several times. I have decided to die but then courage has failed me. It is difficult to kill oneself - both psychologically and physically. Euthanasia should be a human right for all of us. Death is the hardest thing to go through. No one should be forced to be alone in this difficult moment. No one should be forced to difficult methods and risk failure to avoid pointless suffering. It is up to the politicians to introduce euthanasia. Suicide is just a matter of determining the time of one´s own death.