Suicidal all the time after multiple attempts

[stygimoloch]

My last attempt was in 2022 and almost killed me. If I hadn't called someone to be taken to the hospital, I would have died. Now, almost 3 years later, I am having those same feelings I had before I took those pills. I am so depressed. Everyday, every single day I am working, and I am exhausted. I hate my job but I can't leave it. The only person who I've ever loved, my sister, doesn't care about me anymore whatsoever. I don't know what to do. I want to die but I don't want to kill myself. I have a new therapy appointment scheduled for 2 weeks from now but I feel like I can't wait that long, and I'm scared that the therapist is going to be awful like ones I've had before. I don't know what to do and I'm scared but I feel like I can't keep living in my own skin anymore.

 

[INYGTRMTFMO]

My last attempt was in 2022 and almost killed me. If I hadn't called someone to be taken to the hospital, I would have died. Now, almost 3 years later, I am having those same feelings I had before I took those pills. I am so depressed. Everyday, every single day I am working, and I am exhausted. I hate my job but I can't leave it. The only person who I've ever loved, my sister, doesn't care about me anymore whatsoever. I don't know what to do. I want to die but I don't want to kill myself. I have a new therapy appointment scheduled for 2 weeks from now but I feel like I can't wait that long, and I'm scared that the therapist is going to be awful like ones I've had before. I don't know what to do and I'm scared but I feel like I can't keep living in my own skin anymore.

I am so sorry that you're struggling so much.

I can relate to the exhaustion and how that can affect one's ability to keep going. I'm not quite disabled enough to qualify for Disability
(tm), but I'm slightly too disabled to have a full-time job and manage the rest of my life (and yet...).

Can you tell your therapist that your situation is urgent and that you need to move your appointment up if at all possible?

When I have moments where everything seems unbearable, I have to take it second by second. How do I survive the next fee minutes? A song I really like? A snack? Memes on reddit?