Venting so confused

[ScaredCutter]

i had my 2nd session with a psychologizt and it was ok but, now i feel lost. idk if my answers were true, am i just a liar? aftet the session, i felt like i wasnt myself again, i answered as honestly as i could. i dont understand.

why do i keep having this feeling like ive lost a part of me? idk why or how it happens, idk why i keep thinking im lying about everything. i feel like idk, like maybe im just not "me". idk, because idk what i am, not even who i am. all i know is i love my bf and cats and i love umamusume, pjsk and trickcal. i do wanna work with cats, but i feel lost. idk what i am. i was aked why/what makes me feel like i lost a part of me and i had NO ANSWER.

i really want answers, help and such. im always stuck in this situation of never knowing myself :(

 

[Kamaainakupua]

i had my 2nd session with a psychologizt and it was ok but, now i feel lost. idk if my answers were true, am i just a liar? aftet the session, i felt like i wasnt myself again, i answered as honestly as i could. i dont understand.

I've been seeing the same therapist for a long time now, but I felt the same as what you describe. She always points out that I leave 'doorknob' comments, saying something serious right before I leave. That's natural. If she's doing her job, I'm viewing myself differently from when I walked in, and if I'm doing my job, I have access to emotions and thoughts I didn't before.
The conflict about truth and lies is common, since our emotions change, sometimes rapidly and extremely. Walk in sad, waiting for the bus, talk, feel like it might be okay not to get on. I am, right now, honestly able to say I am happy, and sad, at the same time, because my mind moves faster than my heart.

why do i keep having this feeling like ive lost a part of me?

The old me, the laughing, smiling little kid that everyone loved to have around, died around 8, and I was at the funeral for years. I missed being a child, but didn't even know that was what the problem was for a long time.

idk why or how it happens, idk why i keep thinking im lying about everything. i feel like idk, like maybe im just not "me". idk, because idk what i am, not even who i am. all i know is i love my bf and cats and i love umamusume, pjsk and trickcal. i do wanna work with cats, but i feel lost. idk what i am. i was aked why/what makes me feel like i lost a part of me and i had NO ANSWER.

After just 2 therapy sessions, you still have a lot of questions, and probably will for some time to come. The hard part is not the therapy, it's the 167 hours (or longer, if you don't have the luxury of mandatory weekly counseling to avoid being locked up) where no one is listening to you snd helping you find your own answers.

i really want answers, help and such. im always stuck in this situation of never knowing myself :(

My therapist can't give me the answers, but she helps me find questions I -can-answer, which leads me to the other answers.

Learning who we are takes a lifetime. Some people are lucky to have been programmed from childhood and fit that mold, and go into life knowing exactly what they will do, how to do it, and they can be happy with that. I'm not wired that way, or someone broke the controls, or something. My therapist, and now the friends I have here, help me redefine myself, to make me a better version of myself, or at least one which can get through the day without a meltdown.
I cannot make you happy, but I can be here for you until you allow yourself to be happy.
I hope you can give yourself a chance to find, or make, your own answers.

 

[timf]

Sometime therapy can push you out of a comfort zone. This can feel like you are losing part of yourself. There might be a parallel with a baby learning to walk. It is less comfortable than remaining in a bassinet, but it does provide one many more options.

Sometimes a therapist can push too hard, in a wrong direction, or too early when you are not ready. It can also be helpful if the therapist tells you why they are pushing you in a certain direction and what to expect when you get there.

 

[pieberry]

We generally have a lot of walls up when talking to people. Mental health is a taboo subject, so we're used to not discussing it with others. Maybe it feels unnatural to you to open up, and that's where the feeling of "lying" comes from? I think as long as your intentions are in the right place, you don't have to worry about accidentally lying. Everything you say has some meaning to it. It's ok to feel something and not know how to describe it.

 

[owo]

all i know is i love my bf and cats and i love umamusume, pjsk and trickcal.

you dont need anything more i guess

bf loves you
cats loves you
silly games (actually dont) loves you


key thing is your bf
you can settle down