UninformedLover
"We will fight it together...as a family."
- Nov 12, 2019
- 315
Even though I hate my mother, I still feel guilty. I feel guilty knowing that when I ctb she will be utterly distraught. It confuses me to no end. I don't like my mother - this I can say with much certainty so why do I feel so bad?
Before I thought this would be the perfect act of revenge but now I feel selfish. I read somewhere that suicide is selfish because you're passing your suffering onto someone else. At first I didn't believe that but now I do. But I also think it is selfish to continue to suffer in order to spare others feelings.
I know when I die she'll somehow make it all about her and feign surprise as if she never saw it coming. Yuck.
I don't understand why I feel this way. I have no love for her and I do not care about her. I never will.
Before I thought this would be the perfect act of revenge but now I feel selfish. I read somewhere that suicide is selfish because you're passing your suffering onto someone else. At first I didn't believe that but now I do. But I also think it is selfish to continue to suffer in order to spare others feelings.
I know when I die she'll somehow make it all about her and feign surprise as if she never saw it coming. Yuck.
I don't understand why I feel this way. I have no love for her and I do not care about her. I never will.
