Should I Tell My Therapist My Thoughts?

[HangMan123]

Should I tell my therapist about my suicidal thoughts?
I'm getting really worried that I might actually go through with it (CTBing) but I feel too bad for my family, especially with it being so close to Christmas and all.
But if I tell her she'll hospitalize me, right? I'm in the US if that makes a difference.
Also I've been lying to her about it for months now so it'd be super awkward.
Any experience/advice?

 

[nocatwaslost]

Tough one since we don't know your therapist and I guess it will depend on them, what and in which way you tell them.

Do you want to be hospitalized? I mean if you have concrete plans they will probably do it because it is kind of their duty. You could start by saying that you have been thinking about it in a passive way, even if you have lied to them about it in the past. I would recommend opening up if you feel comfortable with them and trust them. You don't have to go all in, maybe slowly opening up about it could be a workaround, although I don't know how urgent it is.

 

[HangMan123]

Tough one since we don't know your therapist and I guess it will depend on them, what and in which way you tell them.

Do you want to be hospitalized? I mean if you have concrete plans they will probably do it because it is kind of their duty. You could start by saying that you have been thinking about it in a passive way, even if you have lied to them about it in the past. I would recommend opening up if you feel comfortable with them and trust them. You don't have to go all in, maybe slowly opening up about it could be a workaround, although I don't know how urgent it is.

I don't know anymore. Maybe being hospitalized is for the best. I really don't feel safe around myself. I'm not scared—I want to die—but I feel so guilty about doing it. Each night I'm getting really close to. I don't know.
I'm not comfortable with them, but I'm about how comfortable I can get with a person. I'm really anxious so, yeah.
Thanks a lot for your reply. I'll probably do some research about laws and hospitalization.

 

[nocatwaslost]

Knowing that I can only do so much from far away I am a bit at a loss, just like you. But from reading your texts, I would recommend telling them. What have you got to loose? I would try it before you CTB. Maybe they are understanding and won't hospitalize you. I hope you find a way to take a bit of the pressure off.

And just to share my experience: I have told my therapist and he was very understanding and listened to me and asked me about these thoughts. But they were mostly passive, so there was no need for an hospitalization. But in that moment it helped me to let it out and tell somebody.

Sending hugs and wishing you the best

 

[MyLifeisHell]

It doesn't matter if it's awkward. There are reasons why you have been reluctant to be forthcoming with her and now you are being honest shout your pain. Therapists shouldn't demand immediate honesty about anything let alone something that comes with dire consequences.

I think it is right to tell now. You have control over how you frame it. Don't mention any sort of concrete plans (methods or dates). Speak about it in more passive terms and strongly deny throughout any sort of real intention to follow though.

BUT if you are truly deathly afraid that you cannot trust yourself to keep yourself from making an attempt and you do NOT want to die, then you should strongly consider admitting yourself.

You can also write me and we can try to work through a "safety plan".

 

[xXSufferingXx]

depends. just in general, for myself, i would be extremely careful telling any type of doctor about suicidal thoughts,
as they will highly highly likely put you in the nuthouse, which will probably make things a lot worse for you.
i'm talking in general, again.
i don't give advice on this site.

but i personally would never tell a doctor.
especially not when there's nothing wrong in my brain,
it all has to do with my circumstance and the chaos surrounding me.
whenever the chaos (which comes from other people) occasionally stops, so does my so called depression.
so it's just a natural response to get pissed off by people wanting to cause chaos in your life.

 

[orpheus_]

You can say that you want to die, but like others mention, only in passive terms. Don't mention any concrete plans, unless hospitalization is what you want. Also prepare a few reasons, even bullshit ones, to make yourself more "safe" in the eyes of the therapist.

Therapists deal with suicidal people all the time and they do not always send them to the ward.
It's all about evaluating the risk: determined by how you talk about it, your tendencies to self harm, impulsivity, whether you have easy access to the means, whether you live alone or with someone, have a long-term responsibility (like a pet you need to take care about)...
Whether they hospitalize you depends on the risk (perceived by them, from what you say, at least), the therapist's experience and personal views. Mostly on the risk though.

I'd say, mention it, just briefly, and see how they react.

You mentioned that you consider getting hospitalized. As far as I know, if you admit yourself voluntarily - you will be able to leave when you want. But check the local laws to not get yourself forcibly locked up because some mental institutions are really shit. For some people hospitalization is the lesser evil and can help, but research your options and rights first.

For me telling my therapist about being suicidal helped a lot, honestly if I couldn't talk about it, therapy would be pointless for me. But that can depend on the person, and also I'm probably perceived as very low risk since I'm not impulsive, very indecisive, I have many responsibilities and up until recently I lived with a roommate who was home all the time. Also I don't live in the US so the laws are probably much less strict here.