Discussion Self-harm without self hate?

[leangenerator]

Does anyone else self-harm without self hate? I like the way the scars look and i like the process; am I just super ill? I've been wanting to become better but I don't want to stop harming.

 

[martyrdom]

I don't hate myself at all and I self harm quite a lot.

 

[underairpressure]

I'm the same, the vast majority of my self-harm isn't motivated by negative feelings or self-hate. My scars are one of the only parts about myself I like, honestly....... and. Idk, I just feel this "want" to do it, it just feels good and Right to me, to self-injure.

I always feel like an alien talking about it in SH circles, though, since most other people seem to do it to deal with negative emotions

 

[leangenerator]

I'm the same, the vast majority of my self-harm isn't motivated by negative feelings or self-hate. My scars are one of the only parts about myself I like, honestly....... and. Idk, I just feel this "want" to do it, it just feels good and Right to me, to self-injure.

I always feel like an alien talking about it in SH circles, though, since most other people seem to do it to deal with negative emotions

Well, i feel the exact same xP

 

[Forever Sleep]

That's an interesting question. I don't self harm much and, not severely. I'm too squemish for cutting. I used to whack myself over the head with things or, slap myself in the face. But- that was more motivated by self hatred. Or more like very intense frustration with myself.

There again, if I hurt myself accidentally, a part of me enjoys the expression of feeling pain. That isn't self hatred. That's more an outward representation/ manifestation of what's going on emotionally anyway.

 

[lilies.in.heaven]

For me, it was simply feeling something intense, not mattering what I put my body through

I consider my times with cocaine also a kind of self harm

 

[amor.dor]

Maybe you do it to feel something different, or at least to feel something. Could it be that deep down you are looking to feel something real?
From what I have studied and analyzed for a long time, many people commit SH because of immense sadness, anger, or as a way to vent emotional pain into something physical.
If you have doubts about what I'm saying, there is an experiment with painkillers, in which a person suffering from heartbreak can feel some relief after taking them, since an area of the brain related to physical pain is also related to emotional pain. But back to the subject,there are also people who SH because, otherwise, they would commit suicide in a very painful way because they would be desperate. I have seen this case, and this was my case, even though I haven't self-harmed in years.

 

[dogdrool]

I feel the same. I'm kind of addicted to the way they look and I get a sense of accomplishment when my scars look a certain way or are at a certain depth. That feeling of accomplishment isn't something I've been able to get from anything else which I guess is what keeps me hooked.
I mostly just do it when I'm bored.

 

[fruitninjamaster]

According to my therapist the real reason people self harm is because you can have 1 million problems but when you are injured your brain can only think about one thing.
I definitely hate myself but sometimes I just cut for fun or for scars.

 

[Xi-Xi]

I started out of self-hate, now I do it more so out of habit

 

[Anonymousa]

Yep, while sometimes I self harm out of hate for myself and to punish myself. sometimes, its to relieve feelings of emptiness or anxiety. I can also do it for fun.

 

[Forgetting5]

Yes I do it out of anger

 

[Defenestration]

Je ressens la même chose. Je suis en quelque sorte accro à leur apparence et j'éprouve un sentiment de satisfaction quand mes cicatrices ont une certaine forme ou une certaine profondeur. Ce sentiment de satisfaction, je ne l'ai trouvé nulle part ailleurs, et c'est sans doute ce qui me rend accro.
Je le fais surtout quand je m'ennuie.

Est-ce que d'autres personnes s'automutilent sans se détester ? J'aime l'apparence des cicatrices et j'aime le processus ; suis-je simplement très malade ? Je voudrais aller mieux, mais je ne veux pas arrêter de me faire du mal.

I love to see scars un my skin

 

[alixisbonez]

Does anyone else self-harm without self hate? I like the way the scars look and i like the process; am I just super ill? I've been wanting to become better but I don't want to stop harming.

I do Ivery rarely do I do it because I am sad I've had a sh addiction for along time I like the scars and blood alot of the time in doing really good I still self harm

 

[Defenestration]

I used to do it on my thighs, but I might be having a romantic sexual encounter, so I won't do it again.

 

[Leonard_Bangley39]

im honestly too scared to self harm anymore just because of how much i like it. I'm scared I'll let myself get carried away and start cutting way too deep.

 

[Defenestration]

Honnêtement, j'ai trop peur de m'automutiler, justement parce que j'aime ça. J'ai peur de me laisser emporter et de commencer à me couper beaucoup trop profondément.

Oui, c'est un risque important.
I hesitate also for this

 

[snooze]

I had a period where i was doing it since it felt like the norm if that makes sense? I didn't really think of anything at all when i self harm.

 

[Cauliflour]

I'm literally scrolling on sasu rn waiting for my scars to properly dry up so I can unroll my sleeves back without worrying about the blood getting soaked onto my white shirt.

Self harm is an addiction cause it gives you dopamine spikes so what you're effectively doing is making your own personal drug using your own skin. People like that do exist, I'm one of them, but the media never gives cases like that attention. In fact, I've only really seen that be talked about in a handful of self harm posts on this very site. I hate myself but I don't cut cause of that. I cut myself cause in a twisted sense it boosts my self esteem and makes me identifiably happy. I suppose masturbation would be the closest comparison rather than drugs but you see what I mean, right? Although I'm autistic and feelings are either not there or in morse code so that's probably why I do it cause pain is universal. I don't tend to think that deep while in the act though, it's moreso cause I like it and it makes me focused and happy.

I suggest going to a therapist though. This kind of stuff is a snowball waiting for it to spiral out of control...

I always feel like an alien talking about it in SH circles, though, since most other people seem to do it to deal with negative emotions

same! literally nobody takes me seriously it's exhausting