my mind has become in completly apathy thowards my end, i dont see it as something bad nor something good, its just what is left for me and nothing more attached to it. The only issue i have with this is thinking of my cat mourns, more than anything it breacks my heart thinking lf her crying at night when im not in bed to lay with her.
I had a greatfull life for my short age, 19 years and ive achieved everything i wanted, but becouse i dont feel like doing enything else, i have a lot of friends, people loves me, ive even loved people, ive mourned the lost of love, i worked enogh to have what i wanted, but nothing fills the void in my, i feel like if im in the term of my life, so it has to come to an end, and what better if i choose how, i dont want it to be dull, i want a semantic zone arround my death, thats the only thing im in control right now.
I live in a town near Buenos Aires argentina, i plan to go to the city and take a bus to Mar del Plata, a costal city and turistic location in the region, what i have in mind is to arrive at morning, spend the full day in the beach, only with music, and at night exactly at midnight take myself to the ocean and be lefr carried away, i see something beautifull in dying that way, becoming one with the ocean, in regard of what i have left to say to everyone that loves me, i will have my goodbye letter splitted in 4 parts, one in my house, another one in the bus terminal, and the other 2 parts are going to be in the last piece of sand that im going to stand on, i would like the last part to be in the sea but thats not possible. Im in love with that feeling, my libido goes thowards that action, like a pulsation of life. I think of that as the last thing i can do for the world, the last piece of me that everyone can see.
i dont want to die of anything else.
I had a greatfull life for my short age, 19 years and ive achieved everything i wanted, but becouse i dont feel like doing enything else, i have a lot of friends, people loves me, ive even loved people, ive mourned the lost of love, i worked enogh to have what i wanted, but nothing fills the void in my, i feel like if im in the term of my life, so it has to come to an end, and what better if i choose how, i dont want it to be dull, i want a semantic zone arround my death, thats the only thing im in control right now.
I live in a town near Buenos Aires argentina, i plan to go to the city and take a bus to Mar del Plata, a costal city and turistic location in the region, what i have in mind is to arrive at morning, spend the full day in the beach, only with music, and at night exactly at midnight take myself to the ocean and be lefr carried away, i see something beautifull in dying that way, becoming one with the ocean, in regard of what i have left to say to everyone that loves me, i will have my goodbye letter splitted in 4 parts, one in my house, another one in the bus terminal, and the other 2 parts are going to be in the last piece of sand that im going to stand on, i would like the last part to be in the sea but thats not possible. Im in love with that feeling, my libido goes thowards that action, like a pulsation of life. I think of that as the last thing i can do for the world, the last piece of me that everyone can see.
i dont want to die of anything else.
