Safety plans. Thoughts? Do they work?

[petmom]

Hi all. Tldr at bottom

What do you guys think of safety plans, or having a safety plan? What's your experience with them? Have you ever created one, officially or not? Whether it's a thought in the back of your mind that's like "I should do x when y" or "I avoid this place, or go there, and do z" or something you developed with someone, and literally anything else.

For me, I have created one with someone, targeting self harm and spiralling feelings. However, to be perfectly honest, in my own experience, what actually makes you "safer" and less distressed, is the source of that distress decreasing.

When the semester stopped trying to overwhelm me, I was a little less suicidal. As in, less of "I have a plan" mode. When I didn't have to encounter toxic family as much, same thing happened. In fact, the more I avoid them the better. When some minor tiny win makes it feel like not everything in my life is hopeless, even if just for a couple hours, it's like I'm fine again and the thoughts fade.

In my own experiences of self harm so far, the only thing that helps is

a) Not feeling upset enough to do it in the first place

b) Urge surfing. I don't like this as it's like, to me, a way of saying "just sit with your agony" imo. And anyways, this isn't always going to work of course

c) My lovely guinea pigs! Ok, okay. There's one thing. Fine. It's actually not super effective, but it's not 100% useless. Maybe only 80% useless instead. Progress?

d) Go and self harm, and hope there's no consequences. Oh wait that's what we're trying to avoid ahh…

There's also safety plans around not ending your life. And reaching out when spiralling. I'm not sure if I'd do that due to my personality. I feel like suicide would not be an impulsive decision for me. I guess you never know though. Sometimes you aren't thinking clearly in that headspace. So surely whatever safety plan you have will surely be tested.

Sometimes I think I'm not interested in safety. Like I just don't wanna be here lol. :(
You may live, just to return to hell. What's the point?

I don't want to make my life worse by giving myself a concussion or head trauma though. So there's that. Or any issues/damage from an impulsive suicide attempt

I think, these are my feelings around the subject. I'd love to hear you guys own. And what works for you? Or not? And why?

TLDR: How do you all feel about safety plans? Do they actually help you? Bc for me what really reduces self harm urges is when the stuff causing it eases. Most coping strategies don't help enough. And I'm too shy and scared to reach out lol. I'm conflicted about "safety" at all, but I also don't want to make my life worse with consequences of sh. It's not over till it's over you know.

 

[suicidesergal]

Safety plans have kept me alive for over 20 years. I've got my suicide very specific, and it's kept me from going there.

Honestly if it keeps you alive, it's worth doing.

 

[venerated-vader]

I don't think of them as 'safety plans' because I don't feel I need to be kept 'safe' from anything. I'm confident I won't go off and ctb on a whim no matter how terrible I feel, and as much as I dwell on the idea of SH, I usually just write about it instead.

I consider what I do to be 'contingency plans' for when I feel like crap.

"Sitting with the agony" is something I've been doing a lot more lately, because my biggest issue is being able to tolerate discomfort. I cannot tell you how many times I have cleaned my apartment while bawling my eyes out lol. And having lost my parents, sometimes sitting with grief is all I can do. There's no escaping that.

Pets are amazing for anxiety. I try to spend time with my cats, but I'm usually agitated or scared, and my cats are very sensitive to that kind of thing, so I aim to spare them from my really volatile mood swings.

Mainly I listen to music, watch stuff, play a game, or more often than not I'll write. And that's the thing, I'll write what I'm feeling instead of taking action, and while it's not the same as going through with whatever I'm feeling impulsive about, it's nice to make my characters deal with these things instead of me. Now I get to come up with reasons for why my characters are feeling the way I feel, and suddenly I'm not thinking about SH, I'm thinking about my characters doing it instead.

So yeah working on creative stuff helps me a lot, but so does exercise. I just like being in physical pain for a little while, and having sore muscles is my go-to :')

 

[Cloud Busting]

I've only created safety plans because I was mandated to. First time was in the er due to a welfare check. The second time was at the psych hospital. I haven't used them since I left. They felt more like something for liability and insurance purposes than anything therapeutic.

Sitting with the agony is the only thing that's helped me. Acknowledging it rather than running away from it helps me to solve it. Avoiding or escaping it tends to make it grow in my experience. It reminds me of the nature of impermanence to embrace the dark side, because the sun always shines eventually. To each their own tho.