Have you ever had a sad end to a "happy" day? You have a "happy" day full of distractions and then you go to bed fully feeling how alone you are?
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Yep. That was my day today. I woke up, things were good for a change, like really good. Until tonight, and now I am sitting painfully alone in my bed wondering when is best to let myself go.
Had the same day today. Life has been terrible but today was okay. And then tonite it hit me like a brick how my personality is just so wholly unattractive. Think I just have to accept that I am simply just an unlikable person. That would make life a little more bearable.
My apologies Tony, I just realized this is the support part of the site. It was not my intention to bring you down, hopefully my post makes you feel a little less alone. Sending you a virtual hug.
In regards to your reply; the nice thing about feeling like your personality is unpleasant, is that you can grow and change. You can actively try to work through insecurities and traumas. Doing self work is a huge pain in the ass, but it is rewarding. I don't know you, but I bet you are not as unpleasant as you feel at the moment. I also bet that even starting to unpack how you became you, will lead you to connecting with others amd brighten up your days and nights. This is just my opinion, but I believe in you.
In regards to your reply; the nice thing about feeling like your personality is unpleasant, is that you can grow and change. You can actively try to work through insecurities and traumas. Doing self work is a huge pain in the ass, but it is rewarding. I don't know you, but I bet you are not as unpleasant as you feel at the moment. I also bet that even starting to unpack how you became you, will lead you to connecting with others amd brighten up your days and nights. This is just my opinion, but I believe in you.
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Oh no, you did not bring me down at all. In fact, you have lifted me up. Thank you. Indeed, you have made me feel a little less alone. Sending you a virtual hug, as well. I can only hope that I have somehow helped you feel a little better too. ☺
Thank you. I do feel a little less alone. Cheers mate.
Cant Maintain
Garbage Fire
- Aug 21, 2020
- 147
When I somehow manage to skip the morning tears, I can sometimes get through a bunch of the day with some bad points or switches throughout the day. When I lay down though all the sadness and hurt wells up around my chest and it gets really hard to not think of it.
riglad
tired of tomorrow
- Feb 8, 2020
- 23
Even when i have a "good" day I get a deep sadness at the end of it.
It'sNotLookingGood
You Know I Couldn't Last
- Mar 1, 2020
- 221
I know what you mean. Stupid as it might sound, but sometimes 'happy' days trigger depressive episodes for me in the days after. This doesn't mean I'm not immensely grateful for them, but it does feels like being given a glimpse of the life I could live, the person I could be, the happiness that is always within eye-sight, but sadly, desperately, always out of reach.
AloneSoAlone
Member
- Aug 28, 2020
- 31
Totally relate to everything being said there. I had my kids for a few hours this morning and it was total joy. I've tried my best to keep that going throughout the day but have failed miserably. I feel so desperately sad and alone right now.
@It'sNotLookingGood it's not craze/stupid in the least. The sheer joy I feel from having spent ANY time with my kids is completely overwhelmed now by the utter despondency of when we are not together. Before I was somehow coping better with it but every time I 'have to given them back' (as my Ex would say - they are not 'possessions' to me but literally a part of my being and soul!) my heart breaks into 1,000,000 pieces and it's the constantly trying to put it back together that is literally killing me! If I hadn't seen them this weekend (unexpected visit) then I was going to try and build up the courage to ctb today. Now I just don't know what to do??
Keep well everyone. I don't know why life has to be so cruel?
@It'sNotLookingGood it's not craze/stupid in the least. The sheer joy I feel from having spent ANY time with my kids is completely overwhelmed now by the utter despondency of when we are not together. Before I was somehow coping better with it but every time I 'have to given them back' (as my Ex would say - they are not 'possessions' to me but literally a part of my being and soul!) my heart breaks into 1,000,000 pieces and it's the constantly trying to put it back together that is literally killing me! If I hadn't seen them this weekend (unexpected visit) then I was going to try and build up the courage to ctb today. Now I just don't know what to do??
Keep well everyone. I don't know why life has to be so cruel?
It'sNotLookingGood
You Know I Couldn't Last
- Mar 1, 2020
- 221
I can't imagine how painful that must be. Your children are lucky to have a father who loves and values them so much <3 It's touching.
