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BasqueClown

BasqueClown

Zirkua ata heriotza
Jun 9, 2022
121
Hi, Basqueclown here. I told my story in two post previously.
I'll return to France in this late october. I quit my current job and, when some savings and some help from family, I'm returning.
I decided to told everything to my cousin and I decided to hospitalize myself to treat my severe depression and suicide tendencies. For bureaucracy reasons about public health system I decided France over Spain, also because I didn't want to live with my father or any father side relative.
A psychiatrist here cleared me for the traveling, even with the new medications and despite another near attempt (I made a knot but stared at it and desisted of the attempt)
Yeah it is a lot of debate how hospitalization works or no, but since my new symptoms like hallucinations (first smelling things that doesn't there, after that I started to hear some male voice inside), hopelessness and a extreme fantasy to hang myself, but I want a serious recovery and returning to a life. I'm still believe in love, I'm still want a girlfriend and a wife. Career whatever, I'll see.
I'm still pro choice. I understand you. Being in a fucking emotional hole is frightening and desperate. I don't judge any person who take their lives, because I consider take mine too. Let's see if I can live a few years in this world.
For obvious reasons I don't visit this forum in my hospitalization, but I don't want to close my account. I still want to discuss, in a proper way, death and suicide philosophically and openly. We need less taboo and more human point of view of that.
I'll inform when I arrived.
Hugs
 
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Reactions: Anonymus, Firegirl, whywere and 5 others
J

Julgran

Enlightened
Dec 15, 2021
1,427
Hi, Basqueclown here. I told my story in two post previously.
I'll return to France in this late october. I quit my current job and, when some savings and some help from family, I'm returning.
I decided to told everything to my cousin and I decided to hospitalize myself to treat my severe depression and suicide tendencies. For bureaucracy reasons about public health system I decided France over Spain, also because I didn't want to live with my father or any father side relative.
A psychiatrist here cleared me for the traveling, even with the new medications and despite another near attempt (I made a knot but stared at it and desisted of the attempt)
Yeah it is a lot of debate how hospitalization works or no, but since my new symptoms like hallucinations (first smelling things that doesn't there, after that I started to hear some male voice inside), hopelessness and a extreme fantasy to hang myself, but I want a serious recovery and returning to a life. I'm still believe in love, I'm still want a girlfriend and a wife. Career whatever, I'll see.
I'm still pro choice. I understand you. Being in a fucking emotional hole is frightening and desperate. I don't judge any person who take their lives, because I consider take mine too. Let's see if I can live a few years in this world.
For obvious reasons I don't visit this forum in my hospitalization, but I don't want to close my account. I still want to discuss, in a proper way, death and suicide philosophically and openly. We need less taboo and more human point of view of that.
I'll inform when I arrived.
Hugs

Welcome back - wherever your journey guided you :happy:
 
Cathy Ames

Cathy Ames

Cautionary Tale
Mar 11, 2022
2,110
Good luck! I hope things will work out as you wish.
 

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