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feverinjection

feverinjection

sacrifice
May 8, 2024
18
I recently went through a breakup, so this may sound really edgy to say, but good god, they're fucking exhausting and useless.

As an autistic person, I've always had trouble forming friendships. Forming romantic relationships, came to me easier, but maintaining them was the most gruesome challenge.

especially as a queer person. It's like I got the short end of the stick from every perspective. I ALWAYS get the short stick.

what do you do when you share all the vulnerable parts of yourself, indulge yourself in the thought that maybe, just maybe this person is your soulmate, just for them to not feel the same way?

How do you recover from this? Do you recover at all??
 
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Reactions: divinemistress36 and Lostandlooking
Throwawayacc3

Throwawayacc3

Freedom
Mar 4, 2024
1,385
No. It's been a year. I can't look at phone photos which are al organised and dated in order and haven't changed my room or moved anything. She either left because of finances or health (or both). 4 years. I'm 35 and that's the first relationship I had. I did notice she started getting more materialistic as time went on and made comments about her rich clients (who most of them were morally bankrupt - parading children online on social media, showing off wealth, etc).

I don't know.
 
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Reactions: returntothevoid, divinemistress36 and feverinjection
feverinjection

feverinjection

sacrifice
May 8, 2024
18
No. It's been a year. I can't look at phone photos which are al organised and dated in order and haven't changed my room or moved anything. She either left because of finances or health (or both). 4 years. I'm 35 and that's the first relationship I had. I did notice she started getting more materialistic as time went on and made comments about her rich clients (who most of them were morally bankrupt - parading children online on social media, showing off wealth, etc).

I don't know.
It really is tough. I appreciate your input, however.

I think it left me feeling numb more than anything. For me, this wasn't my first. I've been through several by now, and I always hope that maybe this will be my time to find love. It never is.

They leave, without fail. I begin to think something is wrong with me.

I hope that we both, one day, can recover and get back on our feet.
 
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Reactions: Throwawayacc3
ChildrensITV

ChildrensITV

Arcanist
Mar 14, 2023
460
I recently went through a breakup, so this may sound really edgy to say, but good god, they're fucking exhausting and useless.

As an autistic person, I've always had trouble forming friendships. Forming romantic relationships, came to me easier, but maintaining them was the most gruesome challenge.

especially as a queer person. It's like I got the short end of the stick from every perspective. I ALWAYS get the short stick.

what do you do when you share all the vulnerable parts of yourself, indulge yourself in the thought that maybe, just maybe this person is your soulmate, just for them to not feel the same way?

How do you recover from this? Do you recover at all??

The only way to cope with this is to have hope in NOTHING. Be happy with Maslow 1 shit: Food, Oxygen, a Roof. Some people are doomed to never achieving more than this. I can't wait til this fucking life is over. I never asked for it but I gotta carry it like a burden. What a fucking JOKE.
 
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Reactions: divinemistress36, Throwawayacc3 and feverinjection
feverinjection

feverinjection

sacrifice
May 8, 2024
18
The only way to cope with this is to have hope in NOTHING. Be happy with Maslow 1 shit: Food, Oxygen, a Roof. Some people are doomed to never achieving more than this. I can't wait til this fucking life is over. I never asked for it but I gotta carry it like a burden. What a fucking JOKE.
I understand. It truly is difficult to feel grateful sometimes when It feels like you're hopeless and can never be helped. I try my best, but sometimes the hardships of life weigh out the happy moments.

If we could ask to live, choose to come to life on our own terms, things would surely be different. It's unfortunate that it's not that way, and the universe is selfish.
 
Throwawayacc3

Throwawayacc3

Freedom
Mar 4, 2024
1,385
It really is tough. I appreciate your input, however.

I think it left me feeling numb more than anything. For me, this wasn't my first. I've been through several by now, and I always hope that maybe this will be my time to find love. It never is.

They leave, without fail. I begin to think something is wrong with me.

I hope that we both, one day, can recover and get back on our feet.
I don't think so. High IQ, Autism and I have a photo graphic memory for events. I remember getting robbed at knife point in year 7 on the bus, playing with the rabbit and guinea pig in nursery (not with other children), primary school, etc. it's all vivid and my memory cannot not forget it. Happens with all events good and bad.
 
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Reactions: divinemistress36
divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Angelic
Jan 1, 2024
4,721
It really is tough. I appreciate your input, however.

I think it left me feeling numb more than anything. For me, this wasn't my first. I've been through several by now, and I always hope that maybe this will be my time to find love. It never is.

They leave, without fail. I begin to think something is wrong with me.

I hope that we both, one day, can recover and get back on our feet.
There is nothing wrong with you, most relationships just fail
 
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Reactions: returntothevoid

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