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FoxSauce

FoxSauce

Emotional unstable like and IKEA table
Aug 23, 2024
592
Well my mind on overdrive so I'll just place it here.

Do people would appreciate if I be myself or be somebody else? Hard to answer since I have no idea who I am or what my purpose in life. I want to do so many things yet I find it futile and unreachable.

For example I wanted to ice skate like take clases and stuff but seems impossible since I live in a place that is sun 24/7 and the closest ice rink is like an hour away.

Second I really want to learn martial arts and calisthenics and gymnastics
Calisthenics I can give it a go. Martial arts im too broke for that and yes I tried by yt but I want to able to be with an instructor.

Although Gymnastics I feel like im too old for that atm



Also there's part of that i feel like im a bad person in every sense of the word: like I hate my personality just too weird and just plain sad. I dont wanna be i wish I could but it feels really awful to pretend someone your not.



Plus I've been told I'm way too needy ans making connections is the hardest stuff.
I've been told I'm annoying and boring fr so I'm afraid people won't like me.

Also im afraid of people cuz people can be assholes even to the nicest people.

Plus dealing with moods are awful (as for anyone) one moment I wanna have fun and feel amazing the next I want to die cuz I thought I offended someone which to me is a massive no no.

Plus I feel like ive failed in life idk if I wanna study animation or something else. Not sure if animations pays more than a medical degree but idk.


Anyways this the most longest rant I've done if you read all this then yay
 
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