Help Quitting treatment—how do I tell my family?

[ShinyDitto]

I have aggressive Multiple Sclerosis. Without treatment, my doctors have been clear I "maybe" have 5 years left to live. I'm tired of treatment(it's been 9 years), tired of medical debt(US healthcare is worst than you can imagine), and tired of seeing doctors all the time. Most of the people in my life know me as a patient, not a person. Ive had to give up on my dreams because of debt and disability. The problem is I have family that would be devastated and might hate me if I quit, and a husband that I love and don't want to hurt—but I'm so tired. I'm exhausted. I've kept going for everyone else's happiness, and the only one left miserable is me. Everyone seems happy with that, but it doesn't feel right or fair. I feel resentful for them for loving me and wanting me to live, and I resent myself for having reasons to keep going. How do I have this discussion with them? It's hard to tell them I'm choosing to die young, when I could stick around for another 30-40 years with treatment. I don't want to die in secret, I want them to be prepared so they can be with me. Anyone have any advice?

Edit: I talked to my husband, told him how exhausted I am, about how what I want out of life has changed. He's told me he's supporting me and my decision no matter what it is. I also talked to my therapist, who laid out all the consequences of my decision but ultimately said it was my treatment, my life, my choice.

 

[Tired_birth_1967]

Talk to them. Be sincere, just like you're being here. It's impossible that they won't understand. And even if they don't understand, at least you will have relieved yourself of this enormous burden you're carrying.

 

[ShinyDitto]

Talk to them. Be sincere, just like you're being here. It's impossible that they won't understand. And even if they don't understand, at least you will have relieved yourself of this enormous burden you're carrying.

Thank you! It's my life, my suffering, and therefore is my right. It hurts to hurt people I love, but I hope they can find peace knowing I'll be at peace finally.

 

[4l3_xxd]

Talk to them about how you're truly feeling, set down rules before you tell them, so there's no room for them to argue or guilt-trip you either. In this case, please just worry about prioritizing your comfort. I think it'd be best to set up a date in advance so you can have time to prepare yourself to tell them because this kind of stuff is never easy. I think it'd also be good to bring up ways they can help you feel more comfortable living your own life as well as ways they can continue supporting you, ie, reaching out frequently, even if it's small things like texts ect. Best of luck out there, you've got this, just keep your head up high

 

[ShinyDitto]

Talk to them about how you're truly feeling, set down rules before you tell them, so there's no room for them to argue or guilt-trip you either. In this case, please just worry about prioritizing your comfort. I think it'd be best to set up a date in advance so you can have time to prepare yourself to tell them because this kind of stuff is never easy. I think it'd also be good to bring up ways they can help you feel more comfortable living your own life as well as ways they can continue supporting you, ie, reaching out frequently, even if it's small things like texts ect. Best of luck out there, you've got this, just keep your head up high

Thank you so much I really appreciate it. The guilt tripping is really what I'm worried about, but I think it's really important that I have everything laid out and ready to go.