Prolonging Suicide?

[Xebsora29]

I've attempted at least 5 times this past 6 months, however failed or backed out. I've been planning my next suicide for awhile and decided on taking the partial hanging route.It seems more efficient and effective then my prior attempts in comparison. However, there are days where I feel reluctant and hesitant. I've prolonged it twice already. I've realized that it takes a lot more willpower to succeed and be committed. The reality of the situation is that, its not death that I desire but the concept of not existing at all. I'm hoping that makes sense in a way. Anyone ever felt that way?

 

[Girobatol]

I haven´t attempted before, but I´ve been prolonging my ctb every day, tryng to find the perfect moment that will never come.

 

[Hank]

I've attempted at least 5 times this past 6 months, however failed or backed out. I've been planning my next suicide for awhile and decided on taking the partial hanging route.It seems more efficient and effective then my prior attempts in comparison. However, there are days where I feel reluctant and hesitant. I've prolonged it twice already. I've realized that it takes a lot more willpower to succeed and be committed. The reality of the situation is that, its not death that I desire but the concept of not existing at all. I'm hoping that makes sense in a way. Anyone ever felt that way?

Well, I only did one attempt, about 20 years ago. And I am still here. I never had regrets. I did change my life, and experienced happiness for a couple of years. Met a woman, had a dog. traveled, etc. Atm, my life is a mess and it won't be long till i will end it.

It's very hard to find a proper reply to what you are telling, without knowing your age or situation, etc. I am not a pro lifer, or whatever. I just think that someone that is < 30 should not consider suicide, unless there are real reasons for it. I think that is the experience talking here. I think that most will find that when you are < 30, you are still worth investing in. And this is how someone should think of him or herself as well.

You don't like your job. Quit the job, and ask for education, if possible. Don't like your relationship, quit it. Invest your time in how you want your life to be. Make a plan, even if it is unrealistic, and work towards it, one step at a time.

If you still want to end it, you can. the same as the above. Make a good plan and stick to it. But if you are healthy, and still have opportunities, think about how you would like it, and put your energy in that. If you prolonged it, you either have fear, or hope. So which one is it?

Life is too short to have regrets. " Never explain. Never apologise. Never look back. Game on " ;)

 

[Neverod]

i have attempted two times, one this year and the other when i was 10.

I feel exactly the way you describe, i don't want to be remembered by anyone, i don't want to leave anything behind, i just want it to be like i never existed at all.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

It's perfectly understandable. No one wants to do it. It's not some perfect goal we should aspire to and and we are useless if we fail to follow through. We are human.

 

[Essence]

I feel you @Xebsora29 - That's the torment part. Don't want to live, don't want to die......but can't live. It's like a prison for the mind and emotions, and the only way out is the absolute unknown, which is terrifying. I can only speak for myself but if only I knew what was after here....it's the simple comfort of knowing, rather than not knowing. It's undoable, there is no 'well maybe later I will see, and if I change my mind, I can always revert'. It's THE most final decision, I feel, that can ever be decided, and to top it off, we go into that, with less knowledge than anything else we would face whilst here, that also encompasses total finality.