They're not impossible but I would agree they are difficult to obtain. You can get them from a doctor if you lie about panic attacks, but they're highly unlikely to give you many and getting the prescription refilled may be difficult.
The other routes are darkweb, research chemicals, and traveling to another country like Mexico. May be limited by your finances and/or risk tolerance here.
I'm looking at alternative methods, but if it comes down to SN, I plan on combining whatever small amount of benzos I can get from my doctor with a large (200-400mg) dose of propranolol. Propranolol is sedating and helps with the heart palpitations, and will work synergistically with the benzos to hopefully knock you out quick.
A smaller dose can also help with pre CTB anxiety, it's specifically prescribed, outside of its primary usage as a blood pressure medication, for people with stage fright and social anxiety.
As a note for people: I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice. Please do your own research and know that propranolol can have side effects including making asthma inhalers not work.
