Discussion People who have hope, How do you do it ?

[continuing]

I tend to think about this, other people who also get sad or depressed, but keep going, ive talked with some of them, and their faith that things will get better is so certain as beliving in gravity.

I wonder how, how people can be like this, and how some can get like this you know ?

Theres also the ones who "shine", they feel like they've discovered something, like they get it what life is, and now they live with caml and bliss, i've always envyed them, with anger thinking, why not me you know ?, what do i have wrong with my brain ?

 

[SaintJosifStalin]

I think hope comes from within when one realizes one's ability to change his relationship with the universe. In the end man is not powerless.

Having said so, I am also a very angry person. I think anger is very human though. Yes, some people do seem to shine from a sense of inner happiness. I can't much comment on that except to say that I envy them too.

 

[continuing]

I think hope comes from within when one realizes one's ability to change his relationship with the universe. In the end man is not powerless.

Having said so, I am also a very angry person. I think anger is very human though. Yes, some people do seem to shine from a sense of inner happiness. I can't much comment on that except to say that I envy them too.

yeah, they are the lucky ones, even thought im not to pity myself i cant stop feeling bad around them.

But i agree with you, that some have a power to change the its universe, is just that at this right moment i dont think i have, or at least dont see seeing worth cause of mental pain.

I remember talking to some, they say is gonna pass, i know is gonna pass, but i also know is going to come back.

I guess that comes a lot of endurance, how do you deal with problems and how do you take it life, see the positivy side, is strange, sometimes looks like magic.

I guess that to belive in a better future is to belive in yourself as well, thats the biggest struggle i have.

 

[SaintJosifStalin]

yeah, they are the lucky ones, even thought im not to pity myself i cant stop feeling bad around them.

But i agree with you, that some have a power to change the its universe, is just that at this right moment i dont think i have, or at least dont see seeing worth cause of mental pain.

I remember talking to some, they say is gonna pass, i know is gonna pass, but i also know is going to come back.

I guess that comes a lot of endurance, how do you deal with problems and how do you take it life, see the positivy side, is strange, sometimes looks like magic.

I guess that to belive in a better future is to belive in yourself as well, thats the biggest struggle i have.

Yes, when life beats you down it's easy to lose confidence. I agree with you.

 

[Valky]

It's like when you're mad at someone and you want to yell at them, tell them that you hate them but you know that deep down you don't and that if you were calm you would not feel this way.
It's the same thing with depression. You're kind of stuck in a bubble and everything seems dark and gloomy and you can't seem to even remember what hope feels like but if you have highs every now and then they are definitely something you can grab onto, something that you can tell yourself that you will feel like this again.
It's hard not to lose hope if you are constantly in the state of despair, sadness and hopelessness.
I don't think that people that shine have it all figured out they just have the reassurance that even if it gets bad, it will also get better again and the memories of that hope helps them get through the bad times.

I think that if people tell you that awful sentence "it gets better", what they're really trying to do is try to reassure you that there is hope and light on the other side even if you can't see it.

 

[continuing]

It's like when you're mad at someone and you want to yell at them, tell them that you hate them but you know that deep down you don't and that if you were calm you would not feel this way.
It's the same thing with depression. You're kind of stuck in a bubble and everything seems dark and gloomy and you can't seem to even remember what hope feels like but if you have highs every now and then they are definitely something you can grab onto, something that you can tell yourself that you will feel like this again.
It's hard not to lose hope if you are constantly in the state of despair, sadness and hopelessness.
I don't think that people that shine have it all figured out they just have the reassurance that even if it gets bad, it will also get better again and the memories of that hope helps them get through the bad times.

I think that if people tell you that awful sentence "it gets better", what they're really trying to do is try to reassure you that there is hope and light on the other side even if you can't see it.

yeah i undertand, i must say ive always hated that phase as well, the "it gets better", is really feels for me is just people trying to preach positivity, ive always wondered what would work better for me, i guess i would like to hear "it might getter better, but if you just end you will never find out".

 

[Macedonian1987]

I am depressed since 2003 and for a long time i too had hope that things will get better one day. Sadly i lost this hope and the main reason for me losing this hope was the fact that things become worse as the years progressed. Now things are so bad i will be ctb in a year or two. Why stay and needlesly suffer?

 

[nocatwaslost]

My life still has positive moments where I enjoy it and look forward to it. Nonetheless it gets harder and harder not seeing a substantial change for each day that I endure. So I try to enjoy the last shit out of this life, try to be a good person, give back as much as I can and if the universe still does not want me to continue this life, I will leave it. But it's not now

 

[looking4partner]

I am depressed since 2003 and for a long time i too had hope that things will get better one day. Sadly i lost this hope and the main reason for me losing this hope was the fact that things become worse as the years progressed. Now things are so bad i will be ctb in a year or two. Why stay and needlesly suffer?

It is the same for me. I used to still have some hope that I would remind myself of even at my most desperate. And instead of life getting better, it also became even worse for me in literally life-changing ways.

And part of the things that made it worse also made it impossible for the things that previously caused me those few joyful & positive moments & the ability to even be able to do them.

It also made all the things that I was depressed and anxious about even worse and took away even more of my control which I already did not have a lot of or experience with.

 

[FoxSauce]

Hmmm maybe I think about the idea one day I'll be free. Ik its wishful thinking but maybe when I move out ?


Cuz being with my parents suck

 

[miles-away]

I think my hope is more fueled by cowardice lol. I do not have access to a gun and if I'm being honest, I'm too much of a pussy to truly pull the trigger.

So what else is there to do? I can't continue to rot what's left of my youth away in my moms house anymore. Might as well try to eek out a living.

 

[Hime]

I hyperfixate on the one small thing that keeps me going, my kitty. I refuse to think of the future or anything else cuz I'd just lose all hope and CTB otherwise....

 

[INYGTRMTFMO]

I don't know if what keeps me going can quite be called "hope". Mostly "obligation", somewhat "grit", a lot of whatever you call the emotion expressed in Langston Hughes's "Life Is Fine."

I've heard people live out of spite -- prove the haters wrong. Some out of curiosity-- it's a big world with a lot happening in it, and it's intriguing to see what happens next.

If hope isn't accessible, find something that is and anchor to that.

 

[neurotic]

Just keep climbing. Somewhere along the way, you'll stumble into moments that make the struggle make sense.

 

[SarahThrowsGin]

Having a personal project to work on + selfishness + irrationality. Irrationality in my case is unconditionally believing that one's struggle against the world matters of itself, even if one may not end up succeeding in this life. I also reject scientific evidence whenever that would make me pessimistic, and adopt whatever mystic explanations that allow for free will and imprinting oneself on the world past one's bodily death.

I am convinced one cannot carve place for hope if one stays rational and orients oneself toward what science says is true, as science trivializes and objectifies our humanity. A visit to psychiatrist previous year confirmed that I don't have depression, rather PTSD and 'autism spectrum disorder'. I do get sad from time to time, at news, life disturbances or when I fail to make progress at whatever I am working on (and when I was on meds, they didn't help with this one iota, it is same on them and without them, only my progress uplifts me, nothing else). I am, however, a pro-choicer who wants to live or die on my own terms, 'on my own terms' is primary, I don't "recover" from suicidal thoughts, I just have different projections about future neither of which can be rationalized. Right now, however, I am definitely in the "I have achieved a milestone and moving towards next one" phase and feeling happiness.

 

[continuing]

Having a personal project to work on + selfishness + irrationality. Irrationality in my case is unconditionally believing that one's struggle against the world matters of itself, even if one may not end up succeeding in this life. I also reject scientific evidence whenever that would make me pessimistic, and adopt whatever mystic explanations that allow for free will and imprinting oneself on the world past one's bodily death.

I am convinced one cannot carve place for hope if one stays rational and orients oneself toward what science says is true, as science trivializes and objectifies our humanity. A visit to psychiatrist previous year confirmed that I don't have depression, rather PTSD and 'autism spectrum disorder'. I do get sad from time to time, at news, life disturbances or when I fail to make progress at whatever I am working on (and when I was on meds, they didn't help with this one iota, it is same on them and without them, only my progress uplifts me, nothing else). I am, however, a pro-choicer who wants to live or die on my own terms, 'on my own terms' is primary, I don't "recover" from suicidal thoughts, I just have different projections about future neither of which can be rationalized. Right now, however, I am definitely in the "I have achieved a milestone and moving towards next one" phase and feeling happiness.

thanks for the reply, i never thought about denying science in a way of embracing hope/happiness, i do agree that sometimes science tends to be too much like a final nail in the coffin, and if we 100 followed that, we wouldn't be able to do half that we made, humanity in general

I don't know if what keeps me going can quite be called "hope". Mostly "obligation", somewhat "grit", a lot of whatever you call the emotion expressed in Langston Hughes's "Life Is Fine."

I've heard people live out of spite -- prove the haters wrong. Some out of curiosity-- it's a big world with a lot happening in it, and it's intriguing to see what happens next.

If hope isn't accessible, find something that is and anchor to that.

I guess my passion ios experimenting, just to see

Hmmm maybe I think about the idea one day I'll be free. Ik its wishful thinking but maybe when I move out ?


Cuz being with my parents suck

sorry about that, my parents sucks too

I am depressed since 2003 and for a long time i too had hope that things will get better one day. Sadly i lost this hope and the main reason for me losing this hope was the fact that things become worse as the years progressed. Now things are so bad i will be ctb in a year or two. Why stay and needlesly suffer?

damn im really sorry for that, i hope that things can turn around for you, at least a little.

It is the same for me. I used to still have some hope that I would remind myself of even at my most desperate. And instead of life getting better, it also became even worse for me in literally life-changing ways.

And part of the things that made it worse also made it impossible for the things that previously caused me those few joyful & positive moments & the ability to even be able to do them.

It also made all the things that I was depressed and anxious about even worse and took away even more of my control which I already did not have a lot of or experience with.

damn im really really sorry for that

 

[author]

Hope has been cruel to me, I think. Still, I've survived enough despair to know that it's not over until I'm dead - as long as you're still alive, things can change, and you can drive that change.

It sucks and sometimes it just requires getting through another day still breathing but as long as you wake up the next day there's hope it'll be different, because by nature nothing stays the same forever.

Personally I wrote out the steps on what I need; medical, job, move out. I wrote out the steps for medical stuff, I got my doctor, and I got the surgery I needed. Next was the job; after struggling for years, I finally managed to get a job recently. Still working on moving out, but I have the theoretical steps written out. There's a lot of paths to take to get to it, and it takes a lot of time, but hey - everything does.

Recognize the paths available to you. If there are none, try to see how you can make a path. Big goals feel terrifying but there's always smaller steps that aren't so scary. Knowing that almost anything can be accomplished by just figuring out the steps or asking enough people questions gave me hope, personally.

Hoping that helps.