Discussion People who have attempted

[callmeskin]

Is it true you seemed happier the days leading up to ur attempt?

 

[darkandtwisty]

I never did. I was always 100% numb. I was incapable of feeling any kind of emotion.

 

[veryjar]

not happier, more indifferent, accepting of fate and given up, like nothing felt important anymore. But the lead up wasn't stable at all for me. Random impulses, breakdowns, which are extremely rare in my case, leading up to impulsive act before which it felt 'inevitable,' yet the moment I drank SN I panicked and felt regret. Yet, I understood that if this wasn't it, there will be future attempts despite the feeling of regret.

 

[GuppyBoyo]

i did actually, very happy i felt

 

[burninghill]

Yeah, I would definitely say that I was excited and relieved

 

[Proceed]

I didn't feel anything at the time.

 

[idontknowwhatiam]

not happier, more indifferent, accepting of fate and given up, like nothing felt important anymore. But the lead up wasn't stable at all for me. Random impulses, breakdowns, which are extremely rare in my case, leading up to impulsive act before which it felt 'inevitable,' yet the moment I drank SN I panicked and felt regret. Yet, I understood that if this wasn't it, there will be future attempts despite the feeling of regret.

How were you saved if you don't mind me asking?

 

[SatinSoul]

I wouldn't call it happiness. It was more like a dissociative state. The whole situation felt completely surreal, and I wasn't suddenly feeling way better. It was comparable to the last second before a bungee jump. I lived with the thought for so long that when the moment finally arrived, I kept saying to myself, "Wow, this is actually going to happen, huh?" Just a really weird feeling.

 

[veryjar]

How were you saved if you don't mind me asking?

I wasn't. I had solution ready, but I had not done any reasearch. I made roughly 40-50g SN, 200ml water solution, I have 500g container so using teaspoons i tried to get to 400 mark as it was to 500mark. So basically I was planning on drinking the whole solution at some point, I had no clue about protocols, jsut that SN can kill, so I had no antiemetics, antiacids, or any other medications. The solution was sitting on my desk for almost 2 weeks by that point, and one time I just impulsively grabbed it, opened it and drank and panicked. At that time I thought 20g was the necessary dose to kill myself, I estimated I had around 1.5g and I thought I was safe, only to ask AI and I found out I was in LD50 range if I genuinely had that much, but it wouldn't give amounts. So I quickly put on clothes and started walking towards hospital, I had no idea how much I had, my heart was racing. I hovered around hospital for 10mins in case, but I had virtually no symptoms, which makes me think the sip was either smaller than I presumed or 1.5g isn't that effective on me to cause symptoms. The point being, I haven't planned that particualr sip, I was intending to at one point use that solution and it happened out of nowhere, with 0 planning.

 

[SatinSoul]

The solution was sitting on my desk for almost 2 weeks by that point

Sodium Nitrite solutions degrade rather quickly into Sodium Nitrate, especially when exposed to oxygen. Nitrate is rather harmless, at least compared to Nitrite. I am still glad you went to the hospital just in case. How fast SN degrades is rather unpredictable under non-lab conditions, and the LD50 dose is indeed really low. Close call.

 

[aRose]

There was a moment when I really felt like I was rejoicing in my choice but that past and I realized quickly how daunting it really is to plan and tests all these deadly ideas.

 

[veryjar]

Sodium Nitrite solutions degrade rather quickly into Sodium Nitrate, especially when exposed to oxygen. Nitrate is rather harmless, at least compared to Nitrite. I am still glad you went to the hospital just in case. How fast SN degrades is rather unpredictable under non-lab conditions, and the LD50 dose is indeed really low. Close call.

So, I guess some degraded to Nitrate, it was stored at room temp in a lit office. I had no idea, which just shows how 'lucky' I got, because I assumed it'd be a stable nitrite and I had nothing figured out.

 

[Forveleth]

I was happier (relieved) when I settled on a method and got supplies. I did not plan a particular day for my attempt, so I did not necessarily feel happier leading up to it as I did not know the attempt when coming until the day of.

Anecdotal and research evidence does show that people appear to be happier in the days/hours leading up to their attempt. A sudden change in mood from depression to happiness is one of the warning signs for someone attempting suicide.

 

[dragonofenvy]

Not happier, but more apathetic. There were also times where I was at my lowest point where I tried. After I failed, I only felt resentment and resignation.

 

[callmeskin]

I was happier (relieved) when I settled on a method and got supplies. I did not plan a particular day for my attempt, so I did not necessarily feel happier leading up to it as I did not know the attempt when coming until the day of.

Anecdotal and research evidence does show that people appear to be happier in the days/hours leading up to their attempt. A sudden change in mood from depression to happiness is one of the warning signs for someone attempting suicide.

Yeah that's what my question is based upon, i wondered if it was actually correct or if everyone experiences different behaviour leading up to an attempt

 

[dragonofenvy]

Yeah that's what my question is based upon, i wondered if it was actually correct or if everyone experiences different behaviour leading up to an attempt

I think it is correct, but there's going to be exceptions.