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soulchaser_

soulchaser_

he/him
Jul 20, 2025
15
Like over 2 months ago I decided to make a new friend online, which is big for me, as I have always suspected to have schizoid personality to some extent.
My decision was mostly a result of a break up of a recent relationship I was in, it hurt me bad, I wanted some distraction, any. I used to have just 2 or 3 friends back then, 2 of which I wasn't close with at all.

So while looking I accidentaly somehow made 4 new online friends, all separate. 🫠

1 of them is chill, maybe I say that because we talk like twice a week. The rest is.. hell.

they're good people, they're interesting, kind and all. but I completely cannot match what they want or need from me.
they want me to text them everyday. they want me to text them the second I wake up, they closely check whether I am online or not.
and I don't want anyone to tell me that I am ungrateful, I really am not, but I want space, I am depressed and I like to isolate. this is absolutely draining because I wanted to find chill friends, I mean, it's all online. now I have arguments everyday over why I am "distancing" myself, why I didn't text, why I am not replying, or why am I online at night etc.

yes I have voiced this to them. I told them I am depressed, that I am introverted and not that social, that I have shit to do like studying and all. they don't get it at all. they tell me to just message them when I am going to be doing something/when I will be busy. WHAT? they'll soon text me 'are you done?' anyway. I don't want my day to revolve around 3 people online.
at this point I am wondering whether there is something wrong w me.

so the question is what do I do. because somehow my need for space is also my way of 'ignoring their needs'. I'm trying to be kind as much as possible here but I know I regret looking for anyone new.
 
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Ididthis

Ghost in the wall
Apr 28, 2024
7
Yeah that kind of thing is exhausting for introverts. People are really quick to react like you're doing something to them, harming them somehow by not responding on THEIR schedule. You don't owe anyone your time, full stop. It can be hard to establish and keep boundaries between introverts and extroverts, that work is always gonna fall on your shoulders because that's just how society is structured. Good friends, real ones, rare as they may be, understand and care about not only you but the way YOU need to interact with the world, less so the way they need you to interact with it.

After years of the same struggle i learned to just ignore and respond on my time. If they don't like it, they don't like who you are, so they probably aren't great friends to begin with.
 

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