Venting Partial is a lot harder than I imagined

[loser4ever4life]

Kind of a goodbye thread but tried to ctb earlier today through partial hanging, I bitched out (SI kept pulling me back). Must say, not very painful, got very close to blacking out, felt like I was going unconscious.

Just reeling right now cause the psychological buildup it took for that attempt was a lot, don't know how I'll top it. Will probably try again later.

I also wanted to say thanks to everyone in this forum, I have learnt a lot from this place and it's just nice to speak to people who are going through the same thing as I am

 

[sleepy_redcar]

Kind of a goodbye thread but tried to ctb earlier today through partial hanging, I bitched out (SI kept pulling me back). Must say, not very painful, got very close to blacking out, felt like I was going unconscious.

Just reeling right now cause the psychological buildup it took for that attempt was a lot, don't know how I'll top it. Will probably try again later.

I also wanted to say thanks to everyone in this forum, I have learnt a lot from this place and it's just nice to speak to people who are going through the same thing as I am

Unless you are really out of your mind (heavy into some substance) it is incredibly hard

 

[loser4ever4life]

Unless you are really out of your mind (heavy into some substance) it is incredibly hard

Yeah following through will prove a challenge, but I was really close to unconsciousness, that part scared me a little lol
I don't have access to any substances, so I will have to just power through, only other option is a river nearby but drowning sucks

 

[sleepy_redcar]

Yeah following through will prove a challenge, but I was really close to unconsciousness, that part scared me a little lol
I don't have access to any substances, so I will have to just power through, only other option is a river nearby but drowning sucks

Drowning is incredibly scary (in my eyes) and SI will still kick in (I believe, I almost drowned as a young kid and got pulled out by my family since I did not know how to swim), not to discourage you, take it easy and give yourself breaks and grace

 

[FuneralCry]

It's just so dreadful to me how it's so difficult to be free from this cruel existence, I wish there's the option to simply cease existing in peace and never suffer ever again and I see so much cruelty in how that is denied. But anyway I wish you the best, I hope that you find the relief you search for.

 

[Worndown]

Partial has one weakness, escape.
I am sorry SI won this round.

 

[loser4ever4life]

It's just so dreadful to me how it's so difficult to be free from this cruel existence, I wish there's the option to simply cease existing in peace and never suffer ever again and I see so much cruelty in how that is denied. But anyway I wish you the best, I hope that you find the relief you search for.

Thank you, the more I fuck up the simple methods, the more I find myself leaning to the more extreme methods (cutting, drowning)

Partial has one weakness, escape.
I am sorry SI won this round.

I will try again soon, perhaps today, might switch up the method but same idea.

 

[Valhala]

It is very difficult, you need determination and enormous will power that overcomes SI and all the "rational" reasons that appear to compensate and justify fear. For some reason, I am convinced that at least 50% of those who succeeded changed their minds at the last moment, but it was too late.

 

[loser4ever4life]

It is very difficult, you need determination and enormous will power that overcomes SI and all the "rational" reasons that appear to compensate and justify fear. For some reason, I am convinced that at least 50% of those who succeeded changed their minds at the last moment, but it was too late.

Thanks, trying to overcome that SI right now

 

[weallhaveourghosts]

Just tried partial the other night. Starting seeing a blue light. Wonder if I kept at it if I would be gone by now.

 

[loser4ever4life]

Just tried partial the other night. Starting seeing a blue light. Wonder if I kept at it if I would be gone by now.

I could feel myself passing out, i had my eyes closed and saw some white pattern, im wondering too if I should have just kept at it, researching other methods cause my SI is too high right now.

Glad you're here though

 

[rih]

I actually attempted/tested partial without a slipknot to see how effective it was yesterday it's pretty wild I feel if I just drink a good amount of alcohol it'd be a breeze tbh i'm hopeful. SI is the hardest bit definitely.