Help overwhelmed. help getting started on working out logistics?

[kittypanova]

sorry for posting a second time, wanted to do a personal vent post and have a separate thread dedicated to planning/problem solving. i promise i will not be flooding the forum.

it looks like there's tons of useful information here, but it's *a lot* and i'm easily overwhelmed, having trouble sorting through it all and finding what's helpful/relevant to me specifically. can anyone help me with navigating the resources here and breaking everything i need to do down to manageable parts?

some things i want to start thinking about:

- methods that are effective, relatively peaceful, and accessible/affordable (i work part time on a minimum wage income)
- killing myself "ethically"/in a way that minimizes trauma to loved ones and strangers??? is there even a way to go about this? i don't want my mom or my step father to discover my body and have thought about getting a motel or something to kill myself in but i'm not in love with the idea of a stranger discovering my corpse either, but maybe the trauma inflicted on someone who doesn't know me would be less. i'm not sure.
- planning for the aftermath - do i write notes? scheduled texts? should i even be bothered with a will? i don't really have much at all to my name and don't much care what happens to any of it. i guess whatever small amount of money i have left in my bank account i would want to go to my sister.
- fear of death/SI? i really don't know how to move past this, it's been a major sticking point in past plans to end things and any advice/resources on this subject would really help. i suspect it's going to be a long, slow process for me.
- if there are any end of life considerations i'm not thinking about, please point them out to me.

want to try and get this lazy bulleted list to a nice, comprehensive checklist if i can, with lots of small concrete steps. any advice/resources are greatly appreciated!! <3

 

[kotonearisato]

It's so easy to feel overwhelmed, especially with something so personal and with so many different aspects. Regardless of what you choose to do, I hope you're able to find peace.

I can't answer all your bullet points, but here's a few:
- re on being ethical, it's something I've thought about a lot too. There's no good way around the fact that someone will have to discover you. I personally feel that a method where I am not noticeably injured would be easier to process. Ie if some hotel worker walked in and saw me on the bed looking like I was just asleep or something.
- re aftermath, you can look up your areas specific laws on wills. Some states do not qualify notes as legally binding, others do, for example. If your area does, great, no need to bother with legal bs, can just write what you want to go where. As far as personal notes and scheduled letters, that's a really personal decision and nobody can tell you if you should or shouldn't. There are many email services that allow scheduled sending, and I think GMail does it as well, so if that's the route you decide to take it won't be difficult to set up. I guess by best advice is just think about what you yourself would want, if someone were to leave you, and go from there.
- and finally re other things you may be missing: do you want your loved ones to have things to remember you by, or memories you'd like them to have before you go? Photos or videos, or videos for certain milestones that you won't see? Are there bucket list-type things that would not normally be feasible due to the constraints of having to live a normal life, that may suddenly now be accessible? Ie travel before you CTB, since you'll no longer have to worry about future finances. Do you know what you'd like your funeral to look like if applicable, or if you'd rather be cremated or buried or whatever else?

As I said earlier, regardless of your decisions I hope you find the peace you're looking for. Also, have to shout out to a fellow TCOAAL fan :)

 

[Nauyaca]

There is a way to write a will on the internet, I don't know how it works so I will leave the link for you to explore

Write Your Legal Will Online, Free & Simple | FreeWill

FreeWill lets you make your last will and testament quick, easy, and completely free. It is a simple online legal will maker that helps you compile will forms to print and sign, or to take as a basic will template to an estate planning lawyer. FreeWill is built alongside will making experts.

www.freewill.com

On the topic of the ethics, i'm afraid there is no easy way around it, you have to make your intentions very clear if you don't want somebody to get in trouble, like leaving a note stating that it was your decision and things of the sort, but someone will discover the body, someone will have to identify it, police and medics will have to investigate, make an autopsy, write a death certificate, etc.

This is always the biggest problem, the sense of responsibility that such an act entails, that feeling has saved more than one life (like mine), in the end, suicide does not make the pain go away, it only condenses all the pain into one moment, but I am also of the opinion that your life belongs to you, and you are the ultimate judge of what to do with it, even if that judgment leads you to suicide, it is a last resort, but a resort nevertheless.

If you are going to do it, be as honest as possible and be totally convinced that you are doing it for the right reason, that you really did an honest effort to live but in the end it didn't work out, if this is not the case maybe you should not do it.

I wish you all the luck in whatever path you choose, find peace.