Other than not being able to CTB, what is keeping you alive?

[Identity]

Not sure if this is the right subforum to ask this.

Other than simply not having the 'needs' to CTB, what is keeping you alive?

 

[dominodux]

Do not make my old parents alone and suffer for me, is the only reason i am still here.

Other reason are absolutely secondary. Beside the fact i know thousent of people, mostly, no one cares really of me and i really dont care of any of them.

In this world, everyone cares of himself, also if someone showing that is helping you, it is really helping himself and his coscience.

 

[Hotsackage]

No way to do it. Might just jump onto a freeway.

No way to do it. Might just jump onto a freeway.

And wat domino said

 

[lonelywhale]

This might be really silly and it will sound super self-absorved of me but it's the tiniest stupid things like wanting to see the next episode of a TV show or live to see a performance by a group I like or play some video games a bit more... Anyone experience anything like this? I feel a bit guilty because this just shows that I myself am not adding anything worthy to the world, I just want to enjoy what others are adding for me to possibly experience. I guess that's the difference between a healthy mind and mine, that they still have plans for themselves of things that they want to achieve.

 

[dominodux]

No way to do it. Might just jump onto a freeway.

And wat domino said

Yu cant get SN?

 

[SlackJim]

I think I can recover...

 

[heheb27595]

Nothing but false hope, I'm about 40, my patience is over, just need the tools to CTB.

 

[SawItOnce]

@lonelywhale , I find those to be very reasonable motives to postpone. Many people would postpone for that, if they were still able to feel excitement, curiosity or joy from such events and occupations. Life is meant to be enjoyed, what is out there is meant to be taken and integrated in our lives, based on our preferences. The purpose of concerts, book, video games and tv shows is to create pleasure to you and anybody else who'd want it. Everybody actually lives and thrives on being nurtured by nice things and happenings, everybody takes what others have created, massively, all the time. If you at the moment are in an absorption mode, absorb. This is a state of the brain that naturally grows into creativity in time. Just give your body and mind what it needs, it will catch up with giving to others, when the right time comes

 

[Hotsackage]

Yu cant get SN?

I ordered it last week from a certain site. Still waiting on the shipment i guess

 

[noctiva]

I have the hope that someone I care for cares for me, but he needs to make up his mind about that first.
My hope to be able to go back to my life with my family is keeping me here.

EDIT: I just re-read that sentence and it sounds quite convoluted but it expresses it perfectly, so I'll leave that f*cked up riddle here anyway.

 

[Astral316]

I wouldn't have the holiday spirit if I ctb before Christmas. That's literally the only reason... the only question is, do I ctb just before New Years eve or just after?

 

[DetachedDreamer97]

My therapist for the most part as well as my mom's boyfriend who I live with as mom demanded I move up with them. It's mostly guilt of hurting them, especially my therapist. She did her best, and is the best therapist I've ever had, the one person I can be very truthful to about everything... like a friend and I don't want her to think she failed me.

 

[Kikoo Loool]

Not sure if this is the right subforum to ask this.

Other than simply not having the 'needs' to CTB, what is keeping you alive?

My daughter.

 

[GIRL502Hopelessness]

mi familia y espero que algún día todo mejore, por supuesto que eso no sucederá

 

[heheb27595]

My therapist for the most part as well as my mom's boyfriend who I live with as mom demanded I move up with them. It's mostly guilt of hurting them, especially my therapist. She did her best, and is the best therapist I've ever had, the one person I can be very truthful to about everything... like a friend and I don't want her to think she failed me.

therapists are not your friend.

 

[maka]

The truth is I never really wanted to die, it's just my current situation is so unbearable I feel as if there's no other way. I keep trying to hold on because I feel as though if I get through this, happiness is on the other side. Just 182 days and I'll be home free.

 

[zherhk]

Tiny sparks in hope and being positive bs about me fixing stuff I can't.
So it's a damned loop.
Hope - reality- suffering/sadness
Repeat.

 

[samsrt96]

I always thought I don't want to live to see 2020 but I don't think I can CTB when my family love this time of the year, I don't want to ruin every Christmas and New Year for the rest of their lives so I'm thinking around February.

I also love football (soccer), it's the only thing that can bring me temporary happiness these days. My team is Liverpool FC, they currently have a good chance of winning the Premier League for the first time in decades, so if they are still doing well in February that may convince me to wait until the end of May.

 

[837]

I still love food. It's the one thing I like about life. I will miss food specifically fast food e.g fries burgers ice cream.. I am addicted to that.

 

[Moonicide]

My pet. He waits for me every morning when I wake up. Mostly because he's hungry and wants me to feed him, but also because he's excited to see me.

 

[LonelyLight]

Hope.

 

[mediocre]

A tiny bit of hope that I can get over my physical illnesses and feel ok again. I know I'll always be mentally ill and I've accepted that.

 

[MeltingHeart]

People that are trying to protect themselves trying to stop me- though I guess that comes under not being able to ctb? So in that case- nothing. My friends will be upset but I'm such a mess I can't spend time with them these days, plus it's upsetting for them to know the state that I am in, also they will move on anyway-everybody does- thats just the natural grieving process.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

My job. My family and friends. And my dog!

 

[Worthless_nobody]

Literally only my dog and my mom and a tiny bit of false hope.

 

[clandestine]

Family and friends mainly.

and the very unlikely prospect of becoming rich

 

[Squiddy]

Family, friends and fear of there being a hell

 

[Wayfaerer]

waiting for the holidays to be over and to go splurge on one last (big) paycheck.

 

[Ark]

My daughter. She knows my time is coming, and she understands how much pain I am in emotionally and physically. Her birthday is close to Christmas and wants me to make it through then. I don't know if I can though. I keep considering pushing my date back even if my N does comein time to keep my date, just for her.

 

[mesohappy]

Not sure if this is the right subforum to ask this.

Other than simply not having the 'needs' to CTB, what is keeping you alive?

My dog..We've been through a lot together and the thought of abandoning her now makes me sick to my stomach.Also fear of failing and ending up worse off then I am now.